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59 Responses

  1. Robin
    Robin May 5, 2011 at 6:47 am | | Reply

    Well said Moira. Thanks for the reminder. :)

  2. Kathy
    Kathy May 5, 2011 at 7:18 am | | Reply

    I think parents should remember that all the tools and gadgets are only available to some PWD. Think about parents in other countries or even places in this country who just don’t have access, resources or other abilities to CGMs, pumps or even test strips. It’s better to put all that energy toward making sure all PWD have these things, isn’t it?

  3. Leighann of D-Mom Blog
    Leighann of D-Mom Blog May 5, 2011 at 7:31 am | | Reply

    Love this post, Moira!

    Our endo always seemed really laid back in her approach: test 4 times a day (and more only if needed). We only did overnight checks if our daughter was high or low at bedtime.

    I’ve found myself checking her more and more (8-12x/day now) and I have been thinking lately that I need to step back a little.

    I’m waiting on our next A1c to see if the extra work has helped and I’m looking forward to hearing the philosophy of the new endo that we might be switching to.

    That being said, I caught an 87 at 1am this morning which is way too low for my comfort zone in the middle of the night! And the school nurse just called saying she’s 77.

  4. Meri
    Meri May 5, 2011 at 7:32 am | | Reply

    I’ve been at this 13 years and competely see where you are coming from. It is all about balance. Sometimes tradeoffs need to be made…a higher A1C for a better quality of life and so forth. I am a little worried about the nighttime advice though. We do check our children, (we have three boys with T1) every night at 1am. I KNOW I can stop checking at night with my 13 year old. These days he is always right as rain. My instinct tells me I can skip a night here and there with my 9 year old. I am to the point I know when things will pop up. But my 7 year old? Well his diabetes is a different animal altogether. He is 5 years into this and he still NEEDS to be checked. He is so unperdictable it is downright dangerous not to check. Thing is, your diabetes may vary…(Thanks Bennet!) And everyone’s childrens diabetes is different. Stopping night checks is scary to me…and not good advice for everyone. Even just now and then. Have I slept through my alarm? Yes. Did they live? Yes. But it is a welcome sacrifice to know my child will be safe.

    I do see the rush of mothers of very young children expecting A1C’s in the 5′s and 6′s. I don’t know if it is their endos pushing this, or they see adults with these a1c’s, but I think we both know…Young children’s diabetes is different than older children’s diabetes, which is different than adolescent’s diabetes…who are different than adults. Agreed, balance is good. Sorry for the novel!

  5. Reyna
    Reyna May 5, 2011 at 7:40 am | | Reply

    I agree with much of this post. I was reading Fat Cat Anna’s post from yesterday as well. I thing the DCCT results have hugely impacted “D” care over the past decade or so and that has trickled down to how most people manage “D”. I don’t think you can compare “today’s D’ Rents” to “yester-years D’ Rents” because times, expectations, and outcomes have shaped “D” care.

    When you know “better” you do “better”.

    That being said, I do think that you need to let your kid be a “kid”. “D” usually is along for the “ride” in my home. We live life to the fullest day-in and out.

    And…

    I totally disagree on not checking (at least once) during the night…especially in young children. Nights are half of your day. That is a good chunk of you A1C.

    Finally,

    Children younger than 5 are being diagnosed at unprecedented rates. You cannot even begin to understand the blood sugar fluctuations in children that age…between growth, activity, and picky eaters.

    I think that there are as many ways to parent a child with type 1 as there are to treat type 1.

    Great post. I have had this on my mind quite a bit lately, hence the long comment. Sorry for that.

  6. Laura
    Laura May 5, 2011 at 8:24 am | | Reply

    I am saddened by the rush of parents judging other parents. I’ve noticed a very sad trend in the DOC lately where people are being critical and down right mean about how others are parenting and living. Me no likey!

    Blogs are made for sharing our journey and as Bennet says Your Diabetes May Vary so who is to say who is doing it right or who is doing it wrong? I think each parent does what they feel is right for their child.

    My son was diagnosed at 14-months and at the ripe age of 2 (almost 3) has already had diabetes longer than he has not. He will have it his entire life (you know unless there is a cure or we head to Brazil and find that moss). I think it is ok that I try and keep tight control (as tight as you can with a wild and crazy 2-year old boy). I absolutely believe there is a balance. I want to teach him that you can still live a fun, full life while managing D. We have a pump (OmniPod) and a DexCom and we still check his bg a lot. EVEN OVER NIGHT. I think it is very unsafe for people that are not medically trained to tell other parents not to check their children or to tell them how often to check. As parents I believe we do what is right for our children – to keep them healthy, safe, and secure at any cost. That is what parents do. Period.

    I’m so happy that this parenting style works for you. I think that we can all agree that parenting is hard – parenting a child with diabetes makes it even harder. We are all just doing our best to do what is right for our children – wouldn’t it be great if we could all support one another along this journey. Your way – My way – Any way!

  7. Cindy
    Cindy May 5, 2011 at 8:29 am | | Reply

    What a great post. It is so hard to balance quality of life with the risk of diabetes complications down the road. We struggle multiple times a day trying to balance hovering with keeping the potential long term complications at bay.

    I have to say, I dread the quarterly clinic appts’ focus on the A1C already, and it’s only been 2 years (my son was diagnosed when he was 9)! I’m not even the person with diabetes, I can only imagine how the patient must feel.

    The truth is some days we do everything “right” and the result is wacky BS numbers, and other days when it seems we’ve done everything wrong, the numbers end up in range. When I’m feeling particularly sarcastic I accuse the blood glucose monitors of being nothing more than fancy random number generators.

    Anyway, thanks for a great post. I love this blog!

  8. Maureen
    Maureen May 5, 2011 at 8:35 am | | Reply

    Every situation is different and whether to test or not at night depends upon your specific situation. I have two kids with D, both are in college. We had always done an overnight test of my daughter since she was diagnosed at age 12. When we were getting ready for her to go off to college, another D mom suggested that I stop testing overnight so I’ll be able to see that disasters won’t happen overnight so I can get comfortable she will be Ok when she is gone. A good idea, but I didn’t follow it becuase I could see that she was suffering D-burnout her senior year and was sometimes going all day without testing. She hated when we asked about blood sugars during the day but didn’t mind when we tested her at night. So I at least got a once a day comfirmation that she wasn’t complety out of control. In that case testing overnight was in a way our way of backing off because we were laying off her during the day. She does not report her blood sugar numbers to me at all now while she’s away at college and when she’s home from college these days we no longer test her overnight. She’s handling it just fine on her own even if her A1C isnt perfect.

    My son was 20 and already in college when diagnosed so other than in the first few days we never checked him overnight. He’s only had D for a little over six months and he does text me his blood sugar numbers when he goes to bed and when he wakes up because he tells me he’s not comfortable handling it all on his own yet and likes to know someone is following along. As much as I sometimes want to ask him why he’s 265 at 11:30 I never do – I never comment back on an individual number, but if I see a pattern of highs or lows I call him and we go over whether he needs to make a change in his doses.

    One thing having more than 1 kid with D had taught me is that you need different approaches with different kids.

  9. Moira
    Moira May 5, 2011 at 8:37 am | | Reply

    I think once a night is fine – I worry about the every two hours every night thing. And in some cases, it’s a MUST. Everyone is different. And I hope I don’t sound offensive. I really do worry about the expectations placed on the newly dx families via the internet.

  10. Reyna
    Reyna May 5, 2011 at 8:46 am | | Reply

    I think the 2hours a night thing comes from “correcting” perhaps. I don’t know. I don’t think these expectations necessarily stem from the internet. I know for us, our endo taught us to check 2 hrs after eating and every 3 to 4 hours otherwise…once Joe started pumping. He was three when diagnosed, so that definitely added to the checks and the “lability” of the situation.

    I am a bit disheartened that people are writing and diplomatically criticizing other D’Rents in their care of their children. It is not necessarily an easy road. I think we need to support one another.

    And. I do think some of these recent posts are from bloggers that were dealing with “D” during different eras and hence different intensity levels than we are dealing with in this day and age. The big picture is apples are being compared to oranges.

    I don’t think anyone would disagree that psychological and emotional wellbeing are at stake. “Balance” is key.

    Thank you for this thought provoking post/discussion.

  11. Sliderule
    Sliderule May 5, 2011 at 8:55 am | | Reply

    I only lived with diabetes for a few years ( 56 years ), without any long-term complications . . . my simple advice is:

    Kid first, diabetes second ( or third ).

    Sliderule

  12. Wendy
    Wendy May 5, 2011 at 9:31 am | | Reply

    IMHO (Thanks, Meri!) I have an entirely different take on this post.

    That is…..PEOPLE HAVE LIVES OUTSIDE OF DIABETES! Ten years ago, there wasn’t Facebook posts and blogs up the ying-yang — you didn’t know how life with D looked 24 hours a day, around the globe, everyday.

    To suggest that today’s D parents hover too much isn’t fair. This generation of parents has to manage diabetes with newer, faster acting insulins, fast paced technology advances, and insurance hassles that didn’t exist before..all the while trying to process more information, opinions, and stereotypes than has ever been accessible before.

    Parents today are doing the best they can with the information and resources available to them….and, in the time since social media has BOOMED, many of them have faced job loss, home loss, and unprecedented life crisis.

    There are stories of teens DYING in their sleep from the same disease they’re trying to tame. Then a post like this comes along suggesting that they stop checking their child overnight. Meanwhile health issues, depression and anxiety disorders are at an all time high.

    Day in and day out…without being able to FEEL the symptoms for themselves and coping with the reality that their children may not be able to verbalize what they’re experiencing. They have been forced to rely on instincts, past experiences with their child’s diabetes, and information overload as they trudge through the daily grind.

    So they vent…they vent where they are able to find community. They surf around, trying to figure out where they fit in….looking for others who understand.

    And then someone comes along and tells them they STILL aren’t doing it “right”, because now they’re too overbearing.

    If you take each individual — and add up the total amount of time they’ve posted INDIVIDUALLY on diabetes, you’d probably end up with less time that you think.

    What fills the rest of these lives? I imagine it’s the same for all of us….time with family, school activites, hobbies, LIFE!

    Thanks to social media, everyone’s lives are clustered together –people are connecting in new ways — friendships are forming from a foundation that hasn’t existed before.

    As a result, people are tempted to rush to judgement about how someone else chooses to raise their child with diabetes — tempted to say that someone is “too negative” — tempted to sling mud…but, in reality, we only get a sneak peak … and it’s only a sneak peak at what others allow us to see. You can’t judge an entire person based on the snippets of their life they CHOOSE to share in social media.

    I have been a R.N. since 1995. I’ve worked in the ER, PACU, and L&D. I’ve dealt with many parents under many different types of stress. There’s one thing I have held steadfast to all these years…parents need to trust their instincts.

    If checking YOUR child at night feels right, so be it. If not, so be it. If soaking up every bit of information that crosses your screen feels right, so be it. If not, so be it. If choosing shots over a pump feels like the right way to manage, so be it. If choosing not to access a CGM feels right, so be it. If choosing to use every last technology tool feels right, so be it.

    Parents, trust YOUR gut. Do what YOU feel is right for YOUR child, family, and life with diabetes.

    Don’t let anyone sneak into your head when you know in your heart that you’re doing the best you can…and it’s the right path for your life.

  13. Mike Hoskins
    Mike Hoskins May 5, 2011 at 9:35 am | | Reply

    Great post, and lots of points. I find it interesting how perspective changes so much with time – and as the various life-stages come and go. Whoever made the point that YDMV is absolutely right, but it is all about balance and perspective and being able to realize at some point it’s NOT about freaking out at 200. But I think you really need to go there and hit those “freak-out” points in order to later be able to look back at them with some sense of wisdom. However, it’s the fears – the longterm complications or those we’ve lost from Lows during the night – that make this such a fine line and difficult world to balance. No matter whether it’s a parent of a CWD at any stage or a PWD at any stage, or a wife or kids. Having the information is one thing, but we do get lost in it and sometimes it just gets to the point of being too much.

  14. Anne Findlay
    Anne Findlay May 5, 2011 at 9:38 am | | Reply

    A few thoughts that came to mind when reading this article & comments…

    I was diagnosed at age 14 and my parents never checked me overnight. I’m glad because I needed all the sleep I could get. I can only imagine how challenging it is to be a parent of a young child with diabetes, though. And I’m glad you didn’t ask about the 265, Maureen. I think asking questions like that is akin to saying, “Why would you screw up like that?” I think emotional responses to blood sugars are unhelpful at any age. By definition, a pwd is not going to have normal blood sugars all the time. That is part of the deal, unfortunately.

  15. Steve
    Steve May 5, 2011 at 10:00 am | | Reply

    Wonderfully insightful post, Moira, and like Renya, this has been on my mind a lot too lately.

    Though I think of us as still newbies to this (Lia dx’d 12/09), but both her mother and I would say we feel as preoccupied with treating Lia’s diabetes now as we were when we first started. The focus has changed –less emotion, more on treatment — but the attention we give it has been unwavering in it’s intent: to lead her to live a full and happy life, both now and in the future. Of course to do that entails much more than just dealing with chronic illness, but where diabetes is concerned, it seems, unfortunately, to require a good bit more than the average daily dose of due diligence (I don’t think in terms of it consuming us, it’s more like were steadily involved).

    And maybe that’s the cause for debate: the difference in terminology and definition. What one parent would say is a restful night equates to eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. For someone else, it’s waking at 2 a.m., checking blood, and going back to bed knowing that all is well. Each has its pros and cons and because peace of mind is a matter of individual perspective, time will be the great decider.

    I agree with you that it’s easy to get lost in this (we still haven’t quite found our way). But as any rescue expert would tell us, the key to getting unlost is neither acting like a hero nor sticking your head in the sand, but in openly accepting whatever is the new reality and then dusting the dirt from your pant legs and being a part of what happens next. The danger, they would say, is in doing nothing (which I know you’re not suggesting). In fact, your post reminds us of the beauty in simply just being and that, well, that is what life’s all about.

    Thank you.

  16. J
    J May 5, 2011 at 10:23 am | | Reply

    I get balance. And, we have it. But, like others have said YDMV. Let’s not tell others how to raise their kids. You do it how you see fit, and I will raise mine how I see fit. I think you are going over a dangerous line here telling people not to check their little ones overnight. Pump sites go bad which can lead to highs. A full night high can lead to high ketones in the morning, which can be quite dangerous. Or a crashing low can happen and that is quite dangerous as well. We have caught both of these situations by checking overnight. And, so we will continue to check. I will live with less sleep to make sure my child is safe. Call me a helicopter parent – make fun of me – whatever. A little support instead would be nicer, though. I wish guest posts were scrutinized a little more before being posted, IMHO.

  17. Penny
    Penny May 5, 2011 at 11:09 am | | Reply

    I’m struck by a few things in the post itself. I appreciate your point of view Moira and I love hearing from other parents doing the road of D. I have something to learn from each and every parent. Some I learn what not to do and some I learn what to do. That being said, I parent the way I choose to parent. I do resent the fact that checking 10-12 times a day seems or appears to be ‘hovering’ to some. Some may call it hovering, I call it keeping this kid alive. Having a child diagnosed in the teen years is fairly different than having a baby, toddler or preschooler diagnosed. It just is.

    The nighttime checks – well, if I would have slept through the 20-25 times my daughter went LOW – as in 28, 32 and 35 – all numbers we have seen at 2 am during the past 3 years, in favor of me slumbering and backing off, well, I would have buried my child. There, I said it. I would have buried her. Get up in the nighttime at 2 am? You bet you sweet patootie I do it. Every darn night. And my daughter is living her life, D be damned, doing everything that she should be doing, joyfully and not making D the center of her life. But again, it is what it is. My path is different from other D-parents path.

    I can see where parents can become obsessed and that needs to be addressed, within each child’s care team. Do say blanket statements that nighttime checks should not happen, or we should ‘step away from the meter’ belies what some of us D-parents are experiencing and negating what truly is happening in our lives. I wish we were more supportive of each other in the D-parent community and the paths we choose.

  18. Sysy
    Sysy May 5, 2011 at 11:26 am | | Reply

    My parents hovered a lot and because of my personality type, It was difficult for me. I really wanted to be independent and craved privacy from a very young age. BUT, I also needed a major intervention because I was hiding depression and anxiety issues starting at age 13. So I think that it all depends. My parents hovering saved my life a couple of times-which is well worth the nuissance.

    If a kid’s A1c is really high like mine was, then I totally understand my parents being all over my management and asking about my sugars all day. My parents also saw me crying a lot which was a sign that I was overwhelmed. However some kids don’t go through this and are handling their management rather well and in those cases, if they ask for their parents to give them some space, then yeah, I see it being a good thing-even though some parents may cringe at the thought. A conversation between child and parent needs to continuously happen so communication is flowing and the child can feel confident in saying, “I need help” or “hey mom, I think I got this”.

    As I got older and when my diabetes management finally improved, my parents left me alone as long as I didn’t hesitate to ask for help. That was our deal including that if I did need their help, they were not going to judge my mistakes. It worked really well.

    Either way it’s super hard and I really feel for all parents of diabetic children out there. It’s a wonder my kids learned to walk at all with my incessant worrying about them falling and bopping their heads. I couldn’t imagine raising a child with diabetes. My hat is off to all of you parents.

  19. Lauren
    Lauren May 5, 2011 at 11:56 am | | Reply

    wow! What a great post. I feel like my parents had more of a hands off technique since I fought with them so much. I really get the sense you have a great balance. Your daughter should feel very lucky :)

  20. Kate
    Kate May 5, 2011 at 12:31 pm | | Reply

    A great post.

    OF COURSE people will have their own way of dealing, and of course, people will say it is different now… as if Moira’s child were diagnosed in the 1950s , which she wasn’t. But I’d like to point out that Moira is sharing an opinion here, and did not argue with the woman who approached her in person. So, she isn’t telling anyone what to do. She’s sharing her opinion.

    Are fewer kids with diabetes dying unexpectedly now that used to? I don’t believe so, not it we don’t count children who die before diagnosis. The fact is, “extremely” tight control by itself, will cause more nighttime lows. So, if you are chasing a 5a1c for your 5 years old, you had better be testing at night.

    But if you follow what many pediatric endos suggest, and let your child have slightly higher BG levels, then maybe not.

    It’s a choice. As for us, we followed the suggestions of our endo, who still suggests this, and let our young son be happy with a1cs between 7 and 8, and urged tighter control later.

    I agree with Moira’s point of view completely. But you do not have to.

  21. Megan
    Megan May 5, 2011 at 1:40 pm | | Reply

    Great post? Hardly. Judgmental? Very.

    When my son isn’t wearing his CGM, we check him frequently overnight. He sleeps right through it. I’m not “fooling” myself into thinking that. He is O-U-T, out.

    My son is happy, healthy, normal, and in 4.5 years has not had an A1c above 7. It’s possible to have tight control and raise a well-adjusted, happy child. I know if your child has an A1c that is high, it’s easy to think all of those kids with low A1cs are miserable and will grow up to spend half their life in therapy, but it ain’t necessarily so.

  22. Kate
    Kate May 5, 2011 at 2:23 pm | | Reply

    And, how do you know what the a1c of any of our children might be? The fact is, you do not know.

    Your child is not her a1c, nor his IQ, nor her SAT scores, nor the sum of his diseases. He or she is a human being.

    I do not think anyone is being judgmental here. We have different approaches to child-rearing in all areas. There are Tiger Moms and Laissez-Faire moms, in diabetes care as in all other areas. Good healthy children result from each.

    Whatever we do, our kids grow up to swear to themselves to do it differently “when they have kids of their own”. You can be sure of that ;-)

  23. Tarrin
    Tarrin May 5, 2011 at 3:34 pm | | Reply

    Long time lurker, first time commenter…and it’s a doozy.

    ““Wow, that sounds like child abuse to me.””

    Yeah. Probably better to keep those critical thoughts and judgments of others to yourself.

    “But: at what cost? And by that I mean at what cost to her, to me and to our relationship as a whole?”

    Right: YOUR LIFE. Not mine.

    “And I kind of liked that I was showing her, through my example, that you can be a parent, battle a disease and have a life all at the same time.”

    So are you suggesting then that people who choose to set a different example aren’t teaching their children that they can be a parent, battle a disease, and have a life at the same time?

    “Why can’t we parents work to help our families find better balance in this diabetes world?”

    Or do you mean that we should find balance as YOU define it? Because our life is perfectly balanced — 10 checks a day and all.

    “It seems to me diabetes is consuming these parents. And I wonder if that is really what is best for the child.”

    Thank you for your judgmental observations. By the way, YOU don’t know what’s best for MY child, and you aren’t my child’s endo — who, by the way, feels I’m doing a great job and doesn’t have an issue with how I manage my child.

    For all that hoopla about what a fantastic, wonderful, die hard advocate you’ve been, I want you to know that when you do get your moment with Senator Brown, you are only representing YOURSELF. All this hype about what an advocating hero you are for the parenting community, and then you talk about us like THIS on such a popular site?

    I think politics may have gone to your head.

    You aren’t a better parent than me, and I’m sorry if your ego needs to think you are.

    Amy, I hope you’ll consider investigating other parenting blogs before offering them exposure in the future. You have definitely not portrayed mothers who truly represent our community.

  24. Hallie
    Hallie May 5, 2011 at 4:56 pm | | Reply

    I think everyone has pretty much summed up my feelings!

    There’s just a few things I’d like to share…

    I totally get that letting kids have some freedom and independence is a good thing. And we all know that kids are going to be ready for this a different ages. After all, we ARE trying to prepare our kids to live lives as healthy adults. So fostering good attitudes and habits about diabetes – and life in general – is of utmost importance.

    I think it’s important to remember that “YOUR DIABETES MAY VARY” (so incredibly true, Bennett!). And not just MAY — WILL.

    So that being said, I think that it is important to keep in mind that diabetes care for a teenager is going to differ significantly from diabetes care for a 3 year old. Young children are so incredibly volatile. At least the ones I know are! It is impossible to accurately predict what their blood sugar will do. So – in that case – testing frequently might not be considered “stressing out” but doing what is needed to keep the child safe.

    There’s one line – one paragraph – here that made my heart leap into my throat….
    “She’s never had a seizure in bed. Yes, she’s awoken up high, but we’ve fixed it. I pretty much felt like I was doing a good job as a D-Mom.”

    Well, last week my five year old daughter DID have a seizure in bed. Not actually bed. In the hallway. Where her father had carried her. In the night. To be closer to the extra juice I was throwing upstairs as I ran for the gluc. Holding our baby girl – afraid she was going to DIE in his arms.

    I’m not being overly dramatic. It was horrible. I’m sure anyone who has seen their child have a seizure would agree. And those that have not, I hope you never do.

    So check at night? You bet your sweet patootie I do.

    Before I checked when I went to bed (11-12) and once in the night. Now? More. Because that is what I feel needs to be done to keep MY CHILD safe. Maybe you don’t feel that way. That’s fine. But please don’t suggest that my doing this is causing damage to my child. It saved her life.

    The other thing I found disturbing about this paragraph was the insinuation that if your child DID or DOES have a seizure at night that you’ve done something wrong. That you were controlling the numbers too much. That it means you’re NOT “doing such a great job as a D Mom”. Now, I HOPE that I’m just reading this wrong and taking it the wrong way. Fresh wounds and all…. Because I think we all know that diabetes does not play fair. You can do everything right and something crappy can still happen.

    I have a very well rounded child. She’s much more interested in starting a band than in her diabetes. That’s the way it should be. She’s a healthy little girl. Her last A1c was 8.0. Her endo was pleased. We don’t strive for 5′s. If I ever saw a 5.anything I’d pass out. And not be happy – because for MY CHILD, that would mean she’d been way too low… But that’s just a number and does not begin to tell the story behind it. It tells you basically nothing of what HER diabetes is like. She has parents who love her and will stop at nothing to advocate and educate the world about living with Type 1. She has parents who test her throughout the day (like 7-8 times) and during the night. She never stirs for finger pricks. Never remembers we were even there. We do it to keep her safe. We do it because we love her.

    I think it’s important to remember that MOST of us do our best for our kids. There will always be people to take it to extremes (Hello Extreme Couponing!). Your diabetes may vary. Your parenting style may vary. Your opinion may vary. And thank goodness it does!

    WE are not the enemy. Diabetes is the enemy. We have too much at stake to keep insulting and bickering with each other over personal preferences.

    You’d never go onto to someone’s blog or facebook wall and comment under their picture something like, “Woah! Maybe you should consider backing off the donuts. And that dress? NOT a good choice” or “Step away from the all you can eat buffet!” or “Who did your makeup? Bozo the Clown? You are WAY over the top!”

    So why is it ok to criticize the way someone chooses to raise their child? Or how they manage their child’s diabetes?

  25. Alexis Newell
    Alexis Newell May 5, 2011 at 5:10 pm | | Reply

    First time commenter.

    And Im saddened. By the judgemental, critical and degrading way one dmom is addressing another.

    My son wears a cgm. My son checks 12x a day maybe less maybe more. I check him every 2 to 3 hrs at night. I basal test. I log. We work hard.

    We also love. Play. Dance. Laugh. Sing. Live!!!

    For anyone reading dont ever stop checking your kids at night because someone told you its ”too much”.

    We parent as we see fit and you do the same. But dont ever put me or my friends down for it.

  26. Eileen
    Eileen May 5, 2011 at 5:15 pm | | Reply

    Thanks, Moira. I get it!

  27. Moira
    Moira May 5, 2011 at 5:19 pm | | Reply

    Tarrin who ever you are I am truly sorry. I did not mean to come off that way and clearly I did. I should have been more careful and thoughtful. I just feel so deeply for parents who have been scared into not being able to sleep EVER — look I have had plenty of scary times and I’m NOT the best D Mom out there by a long, long shot. I am sorry my words fell short. Truly. I honestly did not mean it as disrespect for parents — all they are doing is reacting to this world we are in now. And I guess really, any parents who has raised a teen who is willing to be checked 15-20 times a day has figured out a whole lot more than I ever have or ever will. I do hope you can accept my apology.

  28. Anne
    Anne May 5, 2011 at 8:09 pm | | Reply

    It is clear from the comments here that these topics bring a lot of emotions and fears to the surface–and for good reason. We are dealing with the very lives of the people who matter the most to us, and a disease that no parent or PWD will ever be able to fully control. (Bring on the cure.) It is inevitably something that cannot be fully resolved. So we have to find a balance and that is going to be unique for each family.

    I do find it interesting that almost all conversations I have between PWD seem to take a different tone, though–one of sharing what works, listening, searching, friendly challenging to help motivate & inspire. (Perhaps I should not draw too much from the few passionate comments here.)

  29. Sherry
    Sherry May 5, 2011 at 9:14 pm | | Reply

    Ya, I have to say I’m with my D-Mama crew on this one. As much as I believe you had good intentions with this post, Moira, it hit a big nerve. That’s obvious from the responses you have garnered.

    The point made several times in comments that parenting an infant, toddler or pre-schooler with type 1 diabetes is different from parenting an older child is valid. My daughter was diagnosed weeks after her second birthday. If I had a dollar for every time I was blindsided by an unexpected low or high in the wee hours during routing checks I’d have a tidy sum of money, indeed. You have enough experiences like that combined with news of children dying in their sleep due to hypoglycemia, there is absolutely no way you are going to convince these parents to sleep a solid eight hours most nights. No way. Nor should you try.

    Perhaps you are old school, a generation of time and technology separates you from us. Insulins and their means of delivery are different. Tighter control is possible. And so, therefore, a finer line is walked. So I believe you are a wee bit out of touch with what D-parents are coping with today.

    Having said that, I think we can glean from your post a valuable message — to take it easy on ourselves. Cut ourselves some slack. This is a hard job. Exhausting. We really do need to remember to breath. Pat ourselves AND our kids on the back regularly. Have our cake and eat it too now and then. Literally. So I thank you for that important reminder.

  30. AM
    AM May 5, 2011 at 10:31 pm | | Reply

    why do I feel like I want to defend all my fellow t1 friends after reading these comments? something about it all makes me very sad and bewildered, and a little defensive honestly.

    back when I was a teen I was on R + NPH. NPH was a total PITA and required me to be very strict with meal timing. Honestly from the time I was diagnosed until I got on the pump, I did not ever sleep in so I could get my morning shot. I was a pretty obedient kid. (And I was very independent and handled my diabetes stuff myself for the most part.) But I don’t remember the constant intrusion that diabetes now has in my life with the various technologies that give us the constant ability to make things better, better and more better, and to never stop thinking, analyzing, planning! Honestly it drives me crazy sometimes, so sometimes I just have to take a step back, and let a few highs and lows come and go. I think I have taken one freedom–that of eating/living more flexibly–and given up another–the ability to let go for hours at a time. Or maybe I have just forgotten.

    Also, I think a disagreement with Moira could have been approached in a much more thoughtful and compassionate way. It is really shocking to discover some of the vitriol here; although many were also more considerate.

    The unexpected highs/lows don’t go away when pwd grow up, btw, I am sorry to say. But the responsibility must eventually shift and perhaps that makes it easier?

    regardless I commend all the parents out there for doing what they can to help their children in the way they feel is best. and honestly I think a mom who is not happy with a 5.8 A1c when she and her son are clearly doing their utmost needs compassion to know she is doing okay. maybe her question is not really “How can I make his A1c better?” but “Am I doing enough for my son?”

  31. Moira
    Moira May 6, 2011 at 4:18 am | | Reply

    Sherry I wish I had gotten that point across. I was all I really meant. And yes, a toddler is COMPLETELY different — no way can an itty bitty be able to wake up and tell you they are low or high . . . . for what it is worth I did say I was sorry and admit I’d missed the mark. I really didn’t think I was attacking anyone. I also have to accept that if I’m gonna be out there I have to take the attacks — even the mean ones – so I deserve it. And just an fyi — I believe in tight control. Strongly. I think I said when she was still on my watch I checked my daughter when I went to sleep (after 11) and when she got up for school (6 a.m) But I did not check her every night at 1 and 3 and 5 etc . . . . Whatever the case, I really am sorry if I insulted people with a different point of view. Truly.

  32. Moira
    Moira May 6, 2011 at 4:24 am | | Reply

    I also think you are right — I am from an older generation. When my daughter was little (and again she was 6 when dx — not a toddler) it was okay to “only” check six times a day (plus more when high or low or sick etc) Who knew that would come to be an “easy option.” Also, the people I admire most in the world are parents of kids with diabetes. They are passionate, determined, connected, outspoken. I can only hope that that community has some history with me and knows I’m not always an asshat.

  33. Kerry
    Kerry May 6, 2011 at 5:55 am | | Reply

    Well, having read through all of these posts, I agree with Moira. Great post. Thank you for sharing!

  34. Kari
    Kari May 6, 2011 at 6:44 am | | Reply

    Thank you so much for writing this! I couldn’t agree more, well said! :)

  35. Katie Clark - clarkkat@gmail.com

    This is an interesting post and I wanted to weigh in a bit. This comment is coming from someone who was diagnosed at age two in 1977, and also had her oldest daughter diagnosed almost seven years ago at the age of four. I’ve been around the Diabetes block and I hope that gives me some credibility with this group. And if not, just take this as my point of view… I’m not attacking anyone.

    Blood glucose meters for home use didn’t show up until the mid-80s… I was 11 when we got my first one. My parents managed to keep me alive for 9 years without one. Kudos to them. That being said – ‘seizures’ (we called them ‘reactions’) happened somewhat often, most occurring if a meal were more than 20 minutes late. A couple a month when little, to a couple of week when I took over control and into my 20s.

    I’ve been pumping since the mid-90s (haven’t had a seizure since – husband is still happy not having to dump orange juice down my throat in the middle of the night), was one of the first in Michigan where I live to have a continuous glucose monitor in fall of 2006 (I ordered it late June when FDA approval was given). I’m a big proponent of technology to help live with type 1. We got Ellie put on a pump at her two-week checkup after diagnosis and she’s never had a seizure either. I’m also in awe of the individuals who have blazed the trails and are now recipients of the 50 and 75 year medals from Joslin. We are all part of the crew who is making the life expectancy of someone with type 1 diabetes closer to that of someone without type 1. Yay team!

    My fear – in 5 – 10 years, the life expectancy of a person with type 1 will stop increasing and will start decreasing. The tendency to be the best PWDs we can and achieve those near normal A1Cs might be killing us. (go ahead – get all mad about this statement, but I’ve had this thought many times when I’ve seen another blue candle lit on Facebook).

    Every PWD is different. And age does matter – I know a four year old type 1 diabetes is way different than a 30 year old type 1 diabetes (my daughter was diagnosed on my 30th birthday). So, while I shoot to have that 6 a1c (I tend to be closer to 7), there is no way in hell I want Ellie anywhere near there. My experience of having A1Cs in the 5s was not good… let’s see: I totaled a car, lost the ability to feel lows, and a BG of 200 would darn near put me in the hospital (and I spent about 30 months of my life in the 5 a1c area – even had one under 5 (of course, I was pregnant with my daughters)). My personal belief is if you don’t let the body out of that very tight window of control it takes to get an A1C in the 5s, it loses it’s ability to survive when outside the tight range.

    Parents with kids with type 1 and adults with type 1 – you do NOT want the PWD to lose the ability to feel lows. That is FAR more dangerous than a consistent BG of 120 to the body. Complications aren’t a threat if they die before they get there.

    Back to Moira and her point of view…. I know Moira and she’s not an asshat. She is outspoken and asks good questions. (I just found this as I was writing this comment: http://www.dlife.com/diabetes/lifestyle/special_occasions/mothers_day/tom_karlya/power-of-one – a dLife award winner!) I know she did not mean to offend people, and I think it’s great such a big conversation was started. People need to talk about these things. Don’t feel attacked – just read it, and file it away for later – who knows where you’ll be when as a parent you lose control of your child’s care. You never know when you might want to come back to it.

    Those of you checking your kids 15 times a day… I might ask your child’s endo what they think of my ideas. If I’m running them with an A1C of 5.5… are they at more risk of not making it to a point where the complications that could come into play from an A1C of 7? There are studies that suggest an A1C less than 7% is good enough to minimize chance of complications – why does your child’s endo want them in the 5s? What research do they have to support their recommendations? There is a cost-benefit analysis of your lives you need to do. I also wonder if your kids go to sleepovers? Or are ever home without you there? Might you be setting your family up for disaster by removing their body’s ability handle these ‘outside the norm’ activities – what happens when you AREN’T there every two hours? I can’t answer this… only you can. And if you are confident there is no chance of you or your child needing a blue candle lit – then why are you still here reading this? Kudos to you!

    Don’t get mad. I’m not attacking you. And I am by far a perfect PWD nor a parent of a child with type 1 (hello – a perfect PWD doesn’t exist). I just want you to ask questions and ensure you or your child make it to receive the 50 or 75 year medals from Joslin. (**disclaimer – I have NO affiliation with Joslin – I just think the medal idea is cool). I’m pretty sure that was Moira’s hope too. Too many blue candles!!!

    I’m 36 years old, I’ve lived with type 1 for 34 years. I do not have any type 1 complications. I had A1Cs in the 13s in my teen years. I had A1C in 8s in my early 20s. My last A1C was 6.8. I can feel my lows. I can feel my highs. I can see & feel my feet. I want that 75 year medal and I want Ellie to get it as well. (well, clearly – I want a cure, but… ). Is that good enough to ask questions about why are we aiming for an a1c of 5 or am I just lucky?

  36. Wendy
    Wendy May 6, 2011 at 8:45 am | | Reply

    Just checking back in as a follow up to the discussion…

    I don’t know of many D Mamas who are striving for the 5′s. The one Moira mentioned is, apparently, but I really don’t think that’s the norm. For the most part, I’m hoping to keep my daughter (age 7, dx in 2005 at 24 months) in the 7′s….and I didn’t strive for the 7′s until she was almost 6 years old due to the research I had done regarding brain development in young children.

    As a parent, it’s hard not to feel “peer pressure” when someone else’s child seems to always have perfect number and perfect A1c’s. When you see media pictures like one of Dexcom in this post — and meters that always have a perfect number displayed — and people in the DOC posting perfect 24 hour no-hitters, you can’t help but to wonder if you’re doing something wrong when it feels like all you’re seeing mountains followed by descending valleys.

    Then there’s constantly someone who has dealt with T1 longer who tells you that they didn’t have all this technology, but they’re/their child is okay…followed by an endo and advocacy organizations who stress the relevance of the DCCT, emphasizing that NOT everyone has turned out “okay”…and someone telling you that the diet you’re feeding your child is all wrong…and a snakeoil salesman lurking…it just goes on and on…and people are constantly telling you that, one day, you’ll have to let go — of course we know that….but I’ve never done this before, so good grief, cut me a little slack because I’m doing the best I know how to do TODAY, and I’ll have to cross other bridges when I come to them.

    Dare you have a weak moment where you say that you feel diabetes is “horrible” or that you “hate diabetes” — then you’re accused of saying that you hate your child or feel something about your child is horrible. That’s not what you meant — but SOMEONE will always feel a need to throw it in your face.

    The bottom line is that parents can’t win. There will always be another parent with a different parenting style who will disagree with the choices you’ve made. There will always be someone who has lived with diabetes longer who thinks you’re to overbearing. That’s just the way it is.

    I happen not to care if someone calls me a Type 3, but I do care that Hidden Valley Ranch advertised their product as a way to avoid a “low blood sugar meltdown.”….now someone is going to say I need to get a sense of humor and that I’m out to create muddy waters in society by allowing a new diabetes term to creep in.

    See?

    Can’t win.

    Just keep swimming, Parents. Do what you feel is right and don’t worry about living according to someone else’s standards.

    PS — My verification code is “dstory fetch”….I just thought that was cool :)

  37. Kris
    Kris May 6, 2011 at 11:08 am | | Reply

    I couldn’t agree more. Thank you for your post. There is no wrong way or right way to treat your childs or your diabetes. You choose your way and others choose theirs.

  38. alexis newell
    alexis newell May 6, 2011 at 11:30 am | | Reply

    I wanted to say to a commenter who stated some of the comments were attacking Moira.thats how we felt reading the words child abuse, and being asked how our kids relationship with us stands. When you use harsh terms and words as she did above, you must expect people to feel hurt.

    I think the point of the post was well intentioned but missed the mark in some places.

    I agree whole heartedly about the mom who was upset with a 5.8 (say whaat?!),but I also think to each his own.I would never NOT check my son at night. I check 12, 3, and 6. And if my husband and I are ok with that, and our son is sleeping through it who is anyone else to tell us its wrong?

    I cant sleep well without checking and some cant sleep well if they do. YDMV right? Same goes for parents.

    Moira I do agree and thank you for reminding us that a 7.0 is not the end of the world and we do all need to find balance.

    Lets all do that, whilst supporting each others decisions to maybe do so differently.

  39. Deborah
    Deborah May 6, 2011 at 12:39 pm | | Reply

    Moira, thank you for your courage to write this, and your other article for Diabetesmine about the challenges of Lauren’s teen years. We are a family with 12 years of T1D, from NPH to pump/CGMS, one child with T1D to two with T1D, from toddler to teen, moving between countries with very different T1D management styles. And as a parent I have been through all the stages you mention, including asserting our “stage” was the most challenging (toddler, school-age, teen etc) & the “intense” stage of multiple night-time checks and data management. During that intense stage I know I would have reacted to your article in a similar way to several posters here: in my case because I was spending too much time with an online community where “intense” was (& is) the norm, as I became too fearful of the consequences of easing-off, and frankly because I was too sleep-deprived & wrapped-up in the justification of what I was doing to listen to another point of view. For me, it was the realisation I was close to burn-out that led me to ease-off, to a more sustainabIe level of very occasional night-time testing (based on gut-feeling, illness, exercise) and fewer demands for day-time tests. The A1Cs stayed low, we all got more sleep and I became more positive. I am still too intense, I still hover, but I believe I am more aware of that thin-line. I think we are finding a pace to sustain us over the long-haul. So if nothing else, I would hope readers would respect your opinion, experience, and intention and re-evaluate the balance in their family’s diabetes journey.

  40. Reyna
    Reyna May 6, 2011 at 1:10 pm | | Reply

    I appreciate Moira’s acknowledgement of missing the mark perhaps. I think that we are all doing are best with what we have with where we are at. This is a community where we should lift each other. We are one. Let us not forget that.

    I do wish that in the future DiabetesMine reviews posts a little more rigorously prior to posting. I think this one really hurt some feelings.

    Thank You.

  41. J
    J May 6, 2011 at 3:49 pm | | Reply

    I agree that DiabetesMine needs to be more responsible. The tag line even includes the term encouragement, which this obviously was not to many readers. I now believe Moira really was talking maybe to parents of older children, but if that is the case, it needs to be stated. I also think she may believe many parents are striving for 5′s, which I think is untrue. I don’t know any. And on the thought of posting sensitive subjects, I seriously doubt a post about some snake oil that can cure diabetes would be posted (I certainly hope not). The harsh comments would be pouring out. Well, this post struck a similar nerve in parents who are only looking out for the best and the safety of their children. Please do better in the future. Let’s unite and uplift instead of tearing down.

  42. Nick
    Nick May 6, 2011 at 4:47 pm | | Reply

    Moira,

    Your piece asserts that some parents might be testing too many times, hovering and my favorite “nit-picking.” Then, in later comments you write that you understand how different circumstances can be and that you’re really just concerned about the expectations placed on new parents by “the Internet.”

    So which is it?

    Let’s set aside for a moment that I completely disagree with the theory that any parent is being some sort of zealot for testing a lot or daring to wake up in the night to test their child, and talk a little bit about the “expectations” part.

    1. For the parents of a newly diagnosed CWD, is it not far better to err on the side of learning every possible treatment modality? We can shift from pump to shots to a Pod or use some combination of those as the situation requires. Our daughter has a much more liberated experience now, at age SIX, than she would have otherwise. I think telling parents of newly-diagnosed children essentially to “chill” is irresponsible and dangerous.

    2. Presumably there are some 9-17ish year olds that will read this post and say to their parents (who might have spent their lives “nit-picking”): “Hey, this lady was a parent and she says that what you’re doing is too much, so I’m not going to test as often as you have taught me to do.

    3. I have never had our method of treatment judged or criticized by any member of the D community….until now. And you’ve managed to do it twice in a month. If you’re concerned about the “message from the Internet,” then you should re-consider the title of your post, which is contradicted by your comments here.

    4. There are parents reading this post who have nearly lost their children to lows in the night. There might be some who already have. I cannot imagine what it must be like for them to read this and think “I was a hovering parent, and I still lost my baby. Did my hovering make him/her unhappy too?”

    Finally, your piece vigorously supports a more laid-back approach to D management in hopes that it contributes to a more well-rounded teen/adult. Then throughout the comments you back-track a little bit and note that every one is different, every scenario is different, etc. Again, which is it? Should we be laid-back between 9am and 5 pm M-F, but a little more vigilant at night (but not too much), unless they are really young, or sick or when the moon is full on a Thursday?

    In reality, your piece is notsomuch a question of D management, but one that questions the decisions parents make for their children. I am in complete agreement that our D children should live as normally as possible, but disagree on how to do it. For me, I will continue to choose a thorough approach to her care and do all I can to make it as un-intrusive as possible so she’ll be a happy, healthy teen and adult.

    I can’t imagine how I would feel if I lost her and never got to find out.

  43. Nick
    Nick May 6, 2011 at 5:41 pm | | Reply

    From February of 2010 by the same author.

    http://www.diabetesmine.com/2010/02/teens-with-diabete.html

    Maybe I’m the only one that’s confused.

  44. Julia
    Julia May 6, 2011 at 8:04 pm | | Reply

    I test our girl at 12 midnight, at 1:30am and at 3am almost every night. Rest assured, she does INDEED sleep through the blood sugar checks and since I am the one doing the checks, not you, you are in no position to admonish me that I am “kidding myself if I think she is getting a good night’s rest.” She is; I, most certainly, am not. Likewise, she does two hour postprandial checks if at home in an effort to control high postprandials. If not home she will have higher postprandials and we’re okay with that. Since she has had diabetes since the age of 8, a lackadaisical attitude toward management such as you, not a medical doctor, advise, may mean she would see complications by the time she is 30. Do you imagine she would turn to me, in that case, and thank me for letting her lead a life with less blood sugar testing. The unfortunate fact of the matter is she is used to frequent blood sugar testing; and does not bat an eyelash when I test. She, herself, will frequently test when out on her own (I do not ask her to). The advice given by both of our endos was 10 to 12 times a day; and, yes, she has a script for 15 times a day. She does not always use the 15 strips but many times she does. How DARE another parent pass judgment or instruct another parent how often to test their child’s blood sugar? This is a medical issue. Since you are not going to be the one scraping my child off the floor when her blood sugar hits 30 on recently tested basals (remember, I test almost every night; those are fasting basals) due to just a LITTLE more exercise than she normally has, why should I listen to you? I am the one familiar with her patterns; know how variable her blood sugar is. You have never met her. I will listen to my own good judgment and our endo team. Quite frankly, your way of diabetes management is familiar to me; it is extremely old fashioned and is just not the way parents are advised these days, at least, not in our area of the country. You are making the erroneous assumption that your child’s diabetes is the same as every other child’s diabetes. Since it is essentially a metabolic disease, that would be impossible. Every child is different. Those parents who can safely sleep through the night know who they are. Guess what, though? I think the parents that sleep through the night these days are the exception, not the rule. P.S. Sorry for the harsh comment but I feel you are giving dangerous advice for some parents. I do appreciate all you have done for diabetes advocacy over the years.

  45. Julia
    Julia May 6, 2011 at 8:45 pm | | Reply

    Not striving for the 5s here, either. A1cs in the 6s, most of the time. Puberty and teen years are extremely difficult, as I have seen other posts by Moira acknowledging this and documenting how insulin behaves like water and the increased basal needs of teens (often three-fold more) which then drop to baseline the very same evening…. and we are supposed to give these huge increased dosages and trot off to bed? This post is dangerous and irresponsible advice, to say the least. Trust your observations of your own child’s blood sugar patterns, and advice from your endo team. NO ONE leaves the hospital after being dx’d with Type 1 with a script to test five or six times a day…. I don’t think they have for YEARS… very old fashioned and out of date advice.

  46. Julia
    Julia May 6, 2011 at 9:39 pm | | Reply

    My previous two posts were not posted. I’ll try again and be more tactful this time. We test overnight at 12 midnight, 1:30 am, 3am and when one of us wakes up for work, either 5, 6 or 7am. She was dx’d at 8 and is now 14. Yes, she does sleep like a log through the checks; she is used to them. Since these are all FASTING basals, we have a pretty good idea of what her basals should be. But they are, in fact, extremely variable. During mid morning to 3 or 4 pm blood sugars are extremely stable. Obviously, the instability is caused by cortisol and various growth hormones that come out at night. We log everything and, surely, we would have the intelligence to figure out if it is safe for us to stop testing overnight. This is scientific observation, plain and simple. Night after night. She can drop 80 points in an hour and a half on recently tested basals? Why? Possibly just a BIT more exercise (we are talking about a long walk, perhaps). Puberty/teen years, insulin is like water. You are essentially doubling and even tripling doses, only to have her come back to her normal basals the same evening. The poster knows this and she still suggests bed rest? But she has ALWAYS been unstable at night. I will base my decisions on how often I need to check her blood sugars, first, on personal observations and our trusty, written, open on the counter blood sugar log. Second, on our endo’s advice. And never on the advice of a Mom who is not her Mom, has never met her, never observed her over a period of time. If and when her blood sugars stabilize overnight — which should happen when she reaches adulthood, I hope — I will breathe a sigh of relief and turn off my three alarm clocks.

  47. Sysy
    Sysy May 6, 2011 at 9:54 pm | | Reply

    Wow ya’ll, great discussion. It’s not fun or pretty but it’s communicating and I for one am learning a lot. I wasn’t aware until now just how hard my parents had it when my sister and I were young (we’re both type 1).

    This sort of thing happens to type 1 adults, too. Once a doctor of mine a few years ago said I was testing too much (8-10x per day) and trying too hard to have a low A1c but it’s the way he said it. Had he said, “I think maybe you are testing too often or shooting too low, let’s talk about this” I would have explained to him why I tested a lot and that I wasn’t having too many lows. Instead, he said with an arrogant tone, “What you are doing, I mean, it’s just overkill” I was in a store shopping when speaking to him over the phone and started crying right then and there. I was even trembling out of frustration simply because even with that many checks a day, I still have to worry about my blood sugars sometimes and I have to worry about complications that people could get when their blood sugars are not that of a non-diabetic’s. I just want the best chance and how would he know he didn’t have to worry about that. I wanted to tell him that I didn’t do it for fun! I did it because I was really active and busy and wanted to be safe. I felt that all my hard work to keep myself healthy wasn’t being validated. I wanted my doctor to give me a pat on the back for testing as needed, wherever, and even in the middle of the night (I still do it even as a 27 yr old, once a week).

    Years later I realized my doctor meant well, and he didn’t mean to offend me. Anyway, Moira already admitted that she wishes she had chosen different words. And if we know she hasn’t dealt with a young child in this day in age with type 1 then we know her perspective is different and everyone has already corrected her and pointed that fact out to her.

    I do hope people keep sharing their thoughts and feelings, though. When I read through all of these posts I’m amazed because almost 50 people agree on SO MUCH and when does that ever happen?

  48. BadShoe
    BadShoe May 7, 2011 at 8:03 am | | Reply

    Y D M V

    Wow

    I am not a numbers dad. I don’t say that to advocate against those who are numbers folk but to share what I am.

    My experience with endos and striving for low A1C is consistently that number at some point become indicative of running consistently hypo and significant night time lows. Your experiences may be different.

    All in all I don’t see numbers as a far measure of parenting a kid with D. High Low in range what ever that range is NOT a measure of parenting skill or love it is a measure of blood glucose at a point in time.

    If you are interested I wrote about numbers recently in this post http://www.ydmv.net/2011/04/whats-in-number.html

    Thanks all for sharing. Differences I believe are one of the strengths of our community. Particularly if we can differ with an empathy that appreciates the emotional struggles we all face as significant common bonds more powerful than our different approaches to diabetes.

  49. Melissa
    Melissa May 7, 2011 at 1:25 pm | | Reply

    Hello everyone,
    I have been following this post for a while and it has fascinated me. I have to say, as a person with type 1 diabetes, I agree with Moira. I didn’t find her post judgmental or mean, in fact I think she fairly presented her point of view and did not berate anyone else. I believe there is great value in what she is posting. One poster above mentioned the importance of feeling lows. I don’t think this can be stressed enough. Being able to feel a low (or high) blood sugars is the body’s number one defense again all those terrible things no one wants to talk about. If a child is having frequent lows, their body gets used to it and loses it’s sensitivity. This is where it gets scary. People with diabetes MUST be in tune with their bodies and from my personal experience, relying too much on technology diminishes one’s ability to feel their highs and lows. Checking fifteen times a day gives wonderful information, but is that replacing you child’s ability to go with their gut? I understand that many young children have difficulty feeling lows, but as they grow older and gain the necessary sensations, shouldn’t their care evolve as well? Finally, I ask you all to keep in mind that your child comes first, then comes diabetes. “What was you blood sugar at lunch” should NEVER come before “How did you math test go?”

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