38 Responses

  1. reyna
    reyna October 25, 2010 at 7:07 am | | Reply

    Tears…the last paragraph…well, it really got to me.

    What a beautiful, knowledgeable post about something so intimate.

    Simply, “Thank You”

    1. Carolyn Sheffield
      Carolyn Sheffield January 20, 2013 at 12:34 pm | | Reply

      `Hello, I must say that when I came across your page I broke down tears rolling down my face I have lost my son to. four years ago still seems as if it was yesterday. to the monster I call type one . he was told that he was a diabetic at the age of 8 and we had a hard time with him he just did not want to accept what was happing to him and we fought a long hard battle we lost Thomas at the age of 19 and even thought he was 19 he was still my baby he was my first born and I tried to make him ok he didnt like the idea that he could not get a good job or insurance to cover his meds I was hleping him with this and this was not sitting well with him he felt that he was never going to be a man . in my eyes he was a great young man the report stated that he negletctied him self and did not take his insulin so that he killed him self this is a hard idea to live with I could not do what all mothers are made to do and that is to protect him. I feel as if my world stoped that day and it has not been fair to my other two boys who are now the age he was what is a parent todo how do i move on and keep the good alive yet let the anger go at my self for not helping him more. thanks for listining at me ramble you lost in the monster,.

      1. Michelle Alswager
        Michelle Alswager February 2, 2014 at 1:39 pm | | Reply

        I wanted to say to you that there is a large group of us who have lost. As I type this, tomorrow will be MY 4 year anniversary of losing my son. I can connect you with many others. How can I help?

  2. Sysy Morales
    Sysy Morales October 25, 2010 at 7:20 am | | Reply

    How brave and kind of this woman to guest post and offer advice.

    I really, really appreciate it.

  3. MelissaBL
    MelissaBL October 25, 2010 at 7:23 am | | Reply

    Michelle, that was beautiful. Thank you for opening your heart like that.

  4. Caroline
    Caroline October 25, 2010 at 7:32 am | | Reply

    Michelle, thank you so much for opening your heart and sharing with us. I am so sorry for the passing of your son and that you must live with the intense, consuming grief that you talked about here. You are incredibly strong for living day-to-day– and for offering your wise advice to us. As a person who frequently “doesn’t know what to say,” I really appreciate it. I so admire your grace and courage. Thank you.

  5. Vanessa
    Vanessa October 25, 2010 at 8:10 am | | Reply

    Thanks for the post. My throat swelled when I read the last paragraph. What a moving statement and a reminder to us with kids with diabetes to be grateful for every day with our precious kids.

  6. Traci
    Traci October 25, 2010 at 8:19 am | | Reply

    Thank you

  7. Renee
    Renee October 25, 2010 at 8:57 am | | Reply

    How beautifully and poignantly you captured the essence of your experience this year on so many levels – from how others can effectively support the bereaved to the wrenching final paragraph that underscored an unexpected aspect of your irreconcilable loss… thank you for your guidance and your willingness to share your pain.

  8. stacey
    stacey October 25, 2010 at 9:32 am | | Reply

    Hugs to you.
    Thanks for sharing.

  9. elna
    elna October 25, 2010 at 10:05 am | | Reply

    What a beautiful, heartfelt, helpful post, Michelle.
    Thank you for your courage – you will always be a very important and integral part of this worldwide diabetes community -through your continuing advocacy, we will push to have researchers stand up and take notice of this “dead in bed” syndrome, to get more answers and help do whatever can be done to prevent this in the future. All of this should also drive everyone to do everything in their power to find a cure, sooner rather than later.

  10. Meri
    Meri October 25, 2010 at 10:06 am | | Reply

    Words that so many needed to hear! When something tragic happens, food and a listening ear go a long way. Thank you for reaching out Michelle. Much love to you and your family. You are a vital part of our community!

  11. Jen Nicholson
    Jen Nicholson October 25, 2010 at 10:15 am | | Reply

    I get it, sadly. Very well written, I love you Michelle. I love you for all you are to my family and how you have helped me go through what you went through and what we both are always going to feel… Forever. I used to hate diabetes, now I miss it. Jen

  12. Wendy
    Wendy October 25, 2010 at 10:23 am | | Reply

    Thank you for your heartfelt words and wisdom. I realize we’ve never met….and, perhaps, this means nothing at all, but…I’m really proud of you for speaking out and assisting all of us to learn how to handle such difficult tragedy.

  13. Sue Wickson
    Sue Wickson October 25, 2010 at 11:08 am | | Reply


    Thank you for sharing. I saw you on DLife too and it breaks my heart to hear of loss due to diabetes. My son is 12 and I am so afraid of that 13th year now. We have been dealing with diabetes for over 3 years now and it is such a big part of our lives I don’t know how it would be to just stop. I cannot say I know how you are feeling, I can only imagine. Thank you for putting a voice to the loss.


  14. Laura
    Laura October 25, 2010 at 11:17 am | | Reply

    Thank you for your honest and open answers that we all needed to hear. You inspire me. Thank you -

  15. Barbie
    Barbie October 25, 2010 at 11:30 am | | Reply


    Thank you for writing this. It helps to know what to do and say when a family loses a child…or any other family member. And the part about missing the diabetes does make sense…I can see how that would happen. Take care.

  16. Robin
    Robin October 25, 2010 at 11:31 am | | Reply

    Thanks Michelle. And I’m really sorry for all the stupid stuff I’m said – I really didn’t know what to say. ;) You continue to help so many people so much more than you will ever know. Thank you.

  17. mom with CWD
    mom with CWD October 25, 2010 at 11:34 am | | Reply

    I appreciate hearing your perspective. Thanks so much for sharing. You are still part of our community and always will be.

  18. Misty
    Misty October 25, 2010 at 11:50 am | | Reply

    Michelle, You are a real inspiration. Thank you for reaching out and sharing your heart :)

  19. Sherry
    Sherry October 25, 2010 at 1:16 pm | | Reply

    Thank you so much for your strength and bravery and for writing these important words.

  20. Maryjeanne Hunt
    Maryjeanne Hunt October 25, 2010 at 1:58 pm | | Reply

    WOW! What a beautifully heart-wrenching expression of the kind of love that can only exist for your child.

    I am responding from the other side of that love equation. I want to offer the perspective of the diabetic child… because until I became an adult, that’s what I was….

    A few years ago I read a story in the Boston Globe about a teenage girl who died from the toxic marriage between diabetes and an eating disorder. I immediately recognized myself in the story. You see, I lived 22 years with diabulimia. Today I am 49, healed, and whole. I have no major complications of diabetes and I have 17-year-old twins. Mostly I want to offer hope to any parent out there who suspects his/her teen may be afflicted with the same double-edged sword. I am here to tell you that not everything that is broken can be fixed, but healing is ALWAYS possible!

    I am here to help. It deepens my own healing to believe that I might make a difference for those children who still suffer. Please email me at:

  21. Aut
    Aut October 25, 2010 at 4:25 pm | | Reply

    Thank you for sharing the last paragraph. When I lost my child to SIDS I still woke up every morning at 3am to feed him. This lasted a year.

    We didn’t have help from others besides my parents taking our other 2 girls for a week so we could mourn. When a parent loses a child its easy for others to look away because it is a taboo subject and they dont know what to say or do. It is tough to do basic things like shopping. We drove 15 miles into town and there were times we had to pull along side the road and cry then gain the ability to keep driving. If anyone knows of someone who lost a family member help them even if they say they dont need it. Buy some groceries or make a meal and leave it on their porch if you have to.

    Thank you for this post.

  22. Grantsmom
    Grantsmom October 25, 2010 at 4:40 pm | | Reply

    Thank you..from a D Mom. You are an inspiration. Jesse and Eiliah will never be forgotten in our home.

  23. Susan
    Susan October 25, 2010 at 5:42 pm | | Reply

    Thank you – from another D mom. I can’t even imagine what you are going through, but the thought of losing our daughter is never far from my thoughts. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing. You are an inspiration to us all

  24. Hallie
    Hallie October 25, 2010 at 6:19 pm | | Reply

    Michelle, Thank you for your honesty. Thank you for bravely reaching out to a community that is scared! Your words are so powerful. I know I will remember them always – although I pray never to need to use them. I gave a speech about JDRF tonight – and I mentioned Jesse. He will not be forgotten. You are both an inspiration to us all and reminder of why we do what we do. Love to you and your family!

  25. June S.
    June S. October 25, 2010 at 6:53 pm | | Reply


    I am sitting at my computer with tears streaming down my face. How beautiful it was of you to share your story in order to help others. My brother and I have lived with Type I diabetes for more than 38 years.
    I still recall my mother sobbing when she learned of my brother’s diagnosis (just 2 months after mine.)

    To think you lost your beautiful son at age 13 is so very sad. My heart goes out to you.

    June S.

  26. Lucy grubbs
    Lucy grubbs October 25, 2010 at 8:43 pm | | Reply

    You are a courageous person and as a d mom of now two kids I thank you for giving us insight into this scary world we live in. My heart aches for u and others having to go thru this. Thank you for all u ate still doing.

  27. Carrie C.
    Carrie C. October 25, 2010 at 9:14 pm | | Reply

    Michelle, you are the BEST mom in the whole world!!! I hope you know this. Jesse was sooooo lucky to have you. And so are the rest of us. THANKS for all that you do, you are an inspiration to the rest of us who are still hanging in there.

  28. Donna Griff
    Donna Griff October 25, 2010 at 9:48 pm | | Reply


    I sit here crying.. I have no words. None.

    I worry every second of every day about every complication of this horrible disease. I wake up 3-4 times a night and walk into Jonny’s room to make sure he’s OK.. I’ve done this every night since he was diagnosed. I don’t sleep any more and I don’t ever stop worrying. I try.. I try.. but knowing that diabetes can rear it’s ugly head at any time and do terrible things, I worry.

    I miss my Megan — who is away at college, in a dorm room, with her Type 1 Diabetes always in tow. I still worry about her and call her more than I really should.

    And, though I don’t know your personally and never met Jesse, I go to your pages and look at the pictures to remind myself that he was here — and that you and him have made a difference in the world — and in my life..

    You inspire me every day to keep fighting the fight. You have taught me more about commitment and love than I ever thought I’d learn.

    And now you’ve taught me more — and I thank you.


  29. Dead in Bed Syndrome Raises Many Questions, Yields Few Answers | Diabetes News Hound

    [...] Tenderich, author of the blog Diabetes Mine, ran a guest column from Michelle Page Alswager, who lost her 13-year old son Jesse in February to ‘dead in bed [...]

  30. Tiffanie
    Tiffanie October 27, 2010 at 7:46 am | | Reply

    Thank you for sharing your heart, Michelle!

  31. Nicole
    Nicole October 29, 2010 at 7:49 am | | Reply

    WOW talk about emotionally moving! Thank you so much for sharing, trully an inspiration!

  32. Teen With Type 1 Found Dead in Bed | Diabetes News Hound

    [...] the fourth one she has heard about in 2010. Amy Tenderich, author of the blog Diabetes Mine, ran a guest column from Michelle Page Alswager, who lost her 13-year old son Jesse in [...]

  33. Barbara DiPaci
    Barbara DiPaci May 1, 2012 at 6:58 pm | | Reply

    How do you continue your life, when your child who had diabetes, is no longer with you?

    1. Michelle Alswager
      Michelle Alswager February 2, 2014 at 1:46 pm | | Reply

      how can I not?

  34. Melissa
    Melissa May 26, 2013 at 9:44 pm | | Reply

    Thank you for sharing your story
    My son, Nathan passed away May 4, 2010 from type 1. We had no idea he was sick. He was never diagnosed until we were in the hospital and shortly after being transported to another hospital for care, he went into a coma and never woke up. I have lived that weekend over and over into head for the past 3 years. Nathan was a healthy child, he ran races with me, played ball everyday and never showed symptoms of type 1.
    What you wrote in your story hits home. I am trying to reach out to other parents and families who have walked in our shoes. Though I did not live the life of a parent whose child had type 1, I have since met families who do. I am apart of the JDRF organization, I am an advocatr, I raise awareness and I am the voice of so many who can’t talk, like my Nathan. I would like to talk to you, if you are able Please let me know. Thank you!
    Melissa Miley

  35. Anne
    Anne February 3, 2014 at 9:06 am | | Reply

    Thanks you for being so honest and sharing this with us. My heart and prayers go out to you. You are truly an inspiration .(( hugs))

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