Comments on: Subtle Accusations

By: Scott K. Johnson

Scott K. Johnson — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 20:12:08 +0000

Amy, this is a great post and a great topic. It is times like you mentioned where my buddy always (partially) jokingly says “how ’bout I rip YOUR pancreas out and see how YOU do?”.

It is really terrible how we are criticized so harshly, even by people who SHOULD know better, for the times we are less than perfect, but being perfect 100% of the time is totally expected of us. Sheesh.

By: affiliate

affiliate — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 06:53:19 +0000

6.7 is higher than 6.4

By: Kameron Hurley

Kameron Hurley — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 13:41:54 +0000

This is not oversensitive at all. When I went into see my eye doctor, she asked me what my morning blood glucose was. “155,” I said.

“Is it usually that high? That’s really high.”

You know what I wanted to say? “F–k you.” Instead, I said, “No, it’s not usually that high.”

I get so angry at people who don’t get it. Lots of folks get after me because I don’t eat this or that or the other thing, and then express shock when I have a number over 100. 100!!! And I want to shout, “See, folks, this is why I avoid all those carbs you nag at me for being so `strict’ about and work out 5 days a week and test 10x a day. You think this is EASY?”

All people see is one number. They don’t have to watch you rollercoaster. Only my spouse has any idea how hard I work for those numbers, and that’s because he’s had to alter his diet, too. And the whole, “I really, really want to have sex tonight but I was at 50 after dinner and my blood sugar is still plummeting and it’s just not going to happen” thing does put a damper on things on occasion. Even then, he’s not testing 10x a day and worrying over every portion.

Anyway. I just wanted to say, no, you are not crazy and oversensitive. People have a tough time understanding what diabetes (especially type 1) really *is.* My dad once told me that he considered cancer to be much more serious than type 1 diabetes. I just stared at him. “You realize a lot of cancer can be cured, right?” I said, “But that if I don’t have insulin because I get trapped somewhere or travel to some place and lose my supply… I die in 12 hours. You KNOW that, right? I WILL DIE without access to insulin.”

They really don’t.

I think some of this is because most doctors really don’t understand it either. When I relied on a doctor to tell me how to manage my diabetes, I was wildly out of control, eating at least 3 servings of carbs at every meal just like the dietician told me, and was totally miserable. It wasn’t until I read The Diabetes Solution (you know, by somebody who actually lived with t1), that I was finally able to get things under control. I had to teach *myself.* Nobody was going to do it for me.

By: Greg

Greg — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 18:18:02 +0000

I learned long ago to be my own judge. Comments from others deserve one of two responses: 1) Ignore them in their ignorance because, frankly, it’s not worth the effort or 2) Education, for instance in the comment from your likely well meaning husband. Hanging on others’ every word or perceived glance is a one-way ticket to misery. Excursions from ‘normal’ glucose levels are inevitable, and trying to completely eliminate them will only result in repetitive feelings of failure when the situation does not warrant it. You clearly are following the right PROCESSES to manage things, and an A1c where you are at is well below the average in the DCCT trial that supports glucose control. Many experts think that going lower than where you are is dangerous. So forget all of those people and live your life. To spend time worrying about ignorant opinions is no way to sustain chronic control of a chronic, life-long problem. The more of us who hear that, the better!

By: Kara

Kara — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 15:23:48 +0000

I can relate completely! My life with T1 has been such a rollercoaster – diagnosed as a teen who simply didn’t care and tried to ignore the disease (you can guess how well that turned out!), and now I’m in my late 20s, just trying to manage it all. I found out I was pregnant in December, which added a whole new level of crazy to the mix. I was so proud that, after only 2 weeks, my blood sugars seemed to be well-maintained again. I miscarried 2 weeks ago, and I’m dealing with a sudden jump in my blood sugars this week. My husband freaked when he saw my 206 reading last night – and I freaked too, but because I saw it as a sign that I’m truly not pregnant anymore… and that everything about my body is truly out of my control.

I know that I don’t always make the best food choices… getting The Look from my friends when it happens almost makes me want to rebel and eat worse – but a rebellion against my own body won’t get me anywhere!

I love your blog… I found it just a few weeks ago, and it’s been amazing for me. Thank you for sharing your experiences, your feelings, and your extensive knowledge.

By: Enough to go around!

Enough to go around! — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 20:16:18 +0000

The one thing I’ve learned about this disease is that it seems to spread guilt around. I’m not the PWD–I’m the spouse–and the one who does most of the cooking. I’m forever worrying ‘maybe this isn’t low carb enough’ and so on. I also worry about holiday meals, since I’m cooking for a wide range of people I have a mix of dishes. I’m then worried that other family members will judge me for putting something too high carb on the table.

There is another way to look at your husband’s comment–you are so tightly controlled he thinks 150 is high!

Hugs to everyone who feels the sting of subtle accusations.

By: Leslie

Leslie — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 04:26:21 +0000

I read this and my heart dropped… I am guity of these comments to my husband and never ever meant them to be harmful. I am completely ignorant on diabetes and have no clue where to begin to learn about this disease that my husband and two step-children suffer from (which is why I started reading your website). I am going to work on this and try to be encouraging. Thank you for sharing!!

By: Dan Patrick

Dan Patrick — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 00:40:14 +0000

Hi Amy,
It is my observation that stupid is an action whereas ignorance is a lack of knowledge. It is very easy to take actions for granted and not realize the work…I mean work to maintain and be on the offensive with positive actions regding the management of our condition. We need to love the sinner and forgive, while continuing to work on the the minimization of the sin. Hope you are feeling better to know that you are not alone in your thoughts and feelings. As always have a great day.
Dan

By: Antigonos

Antigonos — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 12:20:12 +0000

Right now I’m wrestling with issues with my doctor, who is fanatic on keeping me so strictly controlled [I'm type 2] that, to meet her A1c expectations I have 4-5 hypo attacks a day, some when driving, which has scared me to death. In spite of the fact that she knows that I’m a nurse, with a working schedule which leaves no time for “healthful exercise”, or eating regular, well-balanced meals, or, with a growing family, much time for anything at all, she constantly makes me feel almost criminal for having “only” moderately good control. [A1c about 7-7.5]

Right now, in the aftermath of a fairly serious bout of the flu, my numbers are not particularly good, and I’m actually scared to go see her.
I think it is time to change doctors, but in the Israeli kupat cholim system [rather like an HMO], that’s easier said than done. No one ever seems to be able to say “Given that you can’t stop for even a snack between 2 p.m. and 9 p.m., you’re really doing quite well” or anything like that. Very depressing.

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Most Tweeted Articles by Diabetes Experts: MrTweet — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 11:21:41 +0000

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