Special for “hump day”: I’m revisiting this post from 2007, which I’ve referred to often whenever I second-guess myself about how to talk to my kids about living with diabetes:
Oh, Glorious Middle!
I’ve shared this tidbit with some of you already: whenever my girls and I are having a bit of relaxed fun, laughing and taking things lightly, my feisty 7-year-old perks up with a sideways grin and says, “Mommy, are you in the middle? You seem like you’re in the middle!”
This, I realized, is a result of my sharing the fact that “when mommy’s too low, she’s feeling pretty terrible — probably shaky and irritated and not at all right.” And “when mommy’s too high, she has a headache and might be cranky and impatient, you know?”
So there you have it. Whenever things are good, mommy must be in The Middle. That glorious place she always strives to be (not illustrated perfectly by this gauge, but you get the idea).
And Hallelujah, of late, she’s been there quite a bit! 14-day average on the mobile meter (always along in my purse) = 138, and on the house meter (in the kitchen napkin drawer) = 115. Yippee!
The perennial question: What have I done right? Well, for one thing there’s that food scale, which has certainly made carb-counting more precise. Also, I’ve become a monitoring fiend, checking at every quiet moment throughout the day, and at least once every night during sleep hours. I now correct at 2, 3, 4am — more strikes off the list of things I swore I’d never do.
Also, I’ve stopped fighting it. I try now to look at my BG levels not at as a constant battle to be won, but rather as a puzzle to be solved. There’s always some small tweak you can make to improve your progress on the puzzle. On this front, I’ve been inspired by the unflappable Phil Southerland, who led the first-ever team of Type 1 diabetic cyclists to victory in the 3,000-mile Race Across America last year. (I wrote a feature story on him for Close Concerns’ new diaTribe patient newsletter last month.) This guy’s got the most unquestioning “just do it” attitude imaginable. He never feels sorry for himself — or anyone else with diabetes, for that matter. It’s just another of life’s inevitable hiccups. You can do it. Let’s go…
Anyway, I know this current perfect patch can’t last. They never do. So onward to more glorious “Mommy in the Middle” days (hard work and all), I say!
ha when i started reading this i thought you were shorter than one of your children or something! The middle is a great place to be and is hard to find a perfect balance for………if that is even possible?!
Bravo, I say!
Great post, Amy. This is just what I needed to read this morning. When I need to correct at strange times of the day (2, 3 or 4am, for example), I sometimes feel that I’ve done something wrong. But, then I realize that it’s better to correct and wake up in range than to not correct simply because I “shouldn’t.”
Congrats on your great “Mommy in the Middle” run of late. I had been loving the middle ground for a couple of weeks but, lately, have fallen into the land of hypoglycemia. I like your puzzle analogy though. With my trusty logbook by my side, I’m dumping all my jigsaw pieces on the table. I’m going to start with the border and I’m going to solve my way back to middle ground.
Here goes…
Great story! Love how perceptive kids are, and how they speak their mind.
To Your Health!
James Reno
I woke up one morning (after a low) and my son 13 years old fed me about 15 antacid tablets thinking it was glucose tablets…..I haven’t had heart burn since…:))
Hi Amy,
Sometimes we can get suggestions for research based upon a visual program. I am suggesting that you view the http://www.pbs.org and click Nature. Next go to Animal, select Dog, Episode is: DogsThat Changes the World and last Go To, Medical Dogs and read the info on dogs that detect Bladder Cancer and than Delta the Dog for a type 1 diabetic young man. This will give you a reference point when you watch the program. My dog has done the same for me for over eight years while wearing an infusion pump. It is my suggestion that dogs can and do pick up a body chemical signal as blood glucose begins to drop, with the body attempting to signal for the counter-balancing factor. Otherwise and with no response by the body, that could result in a hypoglycemic state. Maybe …. there is a second counter-balancing enzyme to maintain blood glucose levels in the “middle”. It is a fact that insulin drives blood glucose down. What signals the body to release glucose so that we, as type 1s do not have a hypoglycemic effect. At this moment is time it is the constant testing to maintain the insulin flow that assists us to find the middle. Or from one of your earlier messages. It is the compass to bring us back. As always have a great day.
Dan
Wow Amy, I love reading your blog, but I have to say – sounds to me like you’ve lost the fight with diabetes. Waking up at 2AM, 3AM, 4AM to test and take insulin….you’re not controlling it, it’s controlling you.
No offense intended, but wow, what a horrible way to live your life.
Scott
Good going Amy. I’m not sure I fully understand what Scott is speaking to but I can tell you that diabetes is a part of my life. The whole who is controlling whom sounds great on a t-shirt but really, it is part of the things that you do everyday. So is eating, sleeping, love, riding my bike, and sometimes a little confusion. And if you want to get good at it, guess what, you need to practice. So keep practicing and keep it a part of your life.
And don’t forget to get out on the bike every now and then.
I think testing frequently is a sign you are maintaining great control. Great job on being “in the middle” so much lately. Sometimes our life circumstances make us have to test very frequently and other times we don’t have to. You are in control if you are maintaining your glucose numbers in check and for that I commend you on your great efforts. It takes energy and courage to test when needed, especially when you’d rather skip the hassle and go back to sleep. The more I test, the better knowledge I get about how my body reacts to different variables and the less I have to test in certain situtions later on. Life is always producing different and ever changing circumstances so the spurts of frequent testing never seem to end! We want to be healthy though and THAT is a big motivation. Again, great job!
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