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8 Responses

  1. Meri
    Meri December 16, 2009 at 10:03 am | | Reply

    It’s hard to find balance. Sometimes I will think, “WHOA! Diabetes is taking over our lives…it shouldn’t be like this! We can’t let it be all we think about!” And then later I think, “WHOA! I haven’t been obsessing over the boys numbers lately! I am a bad mom…I must be becoming complacent, and I’m sure I could I be doing better with their sugars if I focased more on diabetes as a whole!”

    I can’t let myself win. Normal? We’ll never be normal. Things that are important to us, are not important to 95% of the world. I can’t remember life before diabetes. What did I worry about then? Whatever it was…it wasn’t worth worrying about.

  2. DS
    DS December 16, 2009 at 11:24 am | | Reply

    Well, I remember life before diabetes. I remember not agonizing over my bloodsugers. I remember dancing the whole night away, jogging till exhaustion, picking up an apple and a cookie, feeling just about better than perfect, having warm hands and feet, 20/20 vision, laughing about nonsense, feeling bad for other’s because they wouldn’t take my offer of sweets.

    I have diabetes, that’s a fact.
    I hate this disease, that’s a fact.
    I face it every moment of my life, even when I sleep.
    It’s not me, that’s a fact.
    It’s just an effliction that I have. Damn it.
    I am much much more than it is.
    :-D

  3. saramy
    saramy December 16, 2009 at 11:35 am | | Reply

    On December 23rd I will acknowledge the diagnosis of this quite challenging condition and it will be my 45th year. This diagnosis happened five days after my 10th birthday. It doesn’t get easier, it just gets different. I’m happy for all the stupendous progress in technology, but there really are few upsides to the disease (there are a few) and there are still times when I feel unbelievably sorry for myself, especially during low blood sugars. And other days, I actually congratulate myself for surviving and surviving well. But it’s been a bitch and this time of year is particularly difficult. Before diabetes? I worried about having to share my birthday with baby Jesus, and getting the short end of the stick and when things are tough I just focus on that little stupid princess worry which is a lot easier to deal with than diabetes. Happy holiday!

  4. David
    David December 16, 2009 at 11:59 am | | Reply

    Most of the time I am able to avoid dwelling upon its unfairness and I manage T1 as a matter of routine. My constant interest in forums, blogs, technological advances of CGM and pumps, and potential cures is my way of ignoring the relentless, never-ending charade of finger-sticking, shots, and wondering what how my bg is doing today.

  5. riva
    riva December 16, 2009 at 12:58 pm | | Reply

    I just told a very good friend of mine that yesterday I had a horrible day, a complete meltdown. My morning blood sugars make me get up extra early to take a little Apidra to blunt my rapid blood sugar rise. And somehow, this seems to have not been the case before.

    “I have about one really bad day a quarter” I told my friend. he was surprised, “But you’re always in such good control,” she said. Yes, that’s the side most people see, but we all know there’s another side – that’s the exhaustion and the never-ending observation of every activity moment-to-moment. How diabetes can be infuriating, overwhelming, not cooperative, and I’ve had it 37 years.

    I don’t remember life B.D. (before diabetes). I was 18 when I got it and I’ve lived twice as long with it. I’ve found a way to integrate it into my life most days, which yes makes it the “new normal,” in my case not so new. Most days are pretty O.K., an then it bites. “I’m so weary of the constant calculations,” I cried on my husband’s shoulder. And then I went to sleep. Today I’m OK again, my numbers are cooperating (god only knows why) and my spirits are back. Such is diabetes-life.

  6. Bob Hawkinson
    Bob Hawkinson December 16, 2009 at 1:57 pm | | Reply

    I think you are the same lady who posted 2 years ago….just much more wizened (sp?)right…. you were pretty smart then, but now you are flipping brilliant. :) 2 years of blogging and 730 days of being D …..still trying to do your best (as are we all). The good news is that along the way these last 2 years you have helped and inspired and motivated a lot of folks to live a better life. Your honest insights and support to the D community have earned you loyal followers and supporters in the D’ world. Folks know they can trust what you say. I think that’s good stuff……
    Cheers, Bob

  7. whimsy2
    whimsy2 December 16, 2009 at 5:24 pm | | Reply

    After 12-1/2 years with type 1 diabetes, and years of tight control and feeling mostly okay about being diabetic, I FINALLY got burned out. I realized this while I was at a pre-Christmas cooky exchange and presented with a table full of yummy-looking cookies. I’d planned to be good, eat nothing, just maybe a teeny bit of eggnog and otherwise, black coffee. But confronted with that tablefull of yummies I collapsed mentally. I so, SO wanted to have one of each. Or maybe even two. And not worry about its effects on my BGs. In the most fervent way, I wished I did not have diabetes. But…here I am. Diabetic. And I’m determined to reach old age with all my parts working, so…it’s back on track. After a slight detour. (It took 2 days for my BGs to recover from my cookie binge.)

  8. Sue Rafati
    Sue Rafati December 21, 2009 at 1:29 am | | Reply

    There’s something to be said for learning to love D, after all, it’s now part of us, in whatever form we have it. Resistance is futile, right?

    Wrong, wrong and more wrong. It’s relentless. Each one of us decides every day what we do now that has an effect on now and on the future, whether that’s 20 minutes or 20 years.

    I had the burnout in the early 2000s and then I got a pump. Totally changed my life. Now I’m just freaked out about not having it one day. But it’s still relentless. Reading about others and D makes it somehow not so isolating.

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