Maybe that isn’t the most politically correct title for this post; I should grow up and say “women’s issues,” right? Naw. Just like any formerly repressed group, we get to refer to ourselves any way we want. And a girl might just change her mind, you know

I’ve been feeling especially frustrated with all the “complications” of being a woman lately (and not just at that time of the month!*) Did you know, for starters, that women are three times more likely to contract an autoimmune disease than men? They’re at higher risk for heart disease, osteopetrosis, arthritis, and asthma, according to this new study on diseases of major concern to women. I’m SO TIRED of hearing about all the bad stuff woman are more prone to than men.

As if that weren’t enough, our lives are just a helluva lot less convenient than theirs (see above*).  And after a certain age, “it’s all patch-patch,” as my best friend’s mother used to say.

My husband made the mistake of grumbling about how much time I take in the bathroom recently. Hell, Buddy, do YOU have to spend precious time on the following:

- exfoliating and moisturizing (repeat, repeat, repeat)

- strategically applying makeup, and then painstakingly removing it

- hair conditioning, blow-drying and/or otherwise styling, fixing, fussing and spraying until it looks decent (including locating and agonizing over new gray hairs)

- selecting pretty earrings, finding the match, and then getting them in/out of your ears

- cleaning and applying / removing contact lenses, which, if dropped, are equivalent to seeking the proverbial needle in a haystack — without the help of your corrective lenses!

+ diabetes crap: testing blood sugar, changing lancets, cursing at uncooperative test strips, preparing infusion sites and drawing up insulin, taking inventory of D-supplies, and occasionally groping for glucose tablets — without the help of your fully functioning brain!

Did I mention that fluctuating blood sugar messes with the bacterial balance of your female privates? Yes, I believe I did. Which can make sex quite uncomfortable at times. Listening, Guys?

The old saying goes that as woman, you have to suffer to be beautiful. What if you’re just shooting for “somewhat put together?” Even that takes far too long, especially with this stupid time- and energy-sucking disease — which btw plagues more than 11 million American women over the age of 20, “including one-fourth who do not know it,” according to that new PhRMA Women report.

So sorry, Sisters! Go directly here.

I laughed so hard when I saw this tweet from a fellow D-girl blogger the other day:  “Is it a bad thing that I’m addicted to eyeshadow? Seeing as how I don’t wear it every day anyway?“

And why is that funny?  (As it happened, my husband was looking over my shoulder at that tweet and gave me a weird look. Of course he didn’t get it!) Girls, help me out here: why are we addicted to all that shines and sparkles?

So anyway, I’m totally off topic now and it doesn’t matter. Because I need to go eat some yogurt. And do my nails. And take my iron supplements. And spend some “working mom’s quality time” with my kids. Oh, and log all those BG numbers. Right after I pick out my outfit for tomorrow — perfect shoes and all — and figure out what’s for dinner.

Friday, October 23rd, 2009 | Permalink | Comments (11)