I always have bad luck in gift exchanges. I knock myself out trying to find the perfect gift for my “Buddy,” and then I get something so cheaply made or inappropriate for me that I could cry. Not to be a whiner, but I thought it might be fun to share some of our worst holiday gifts ever. Here’s my Top 10 list, in countdown order:
10) A plastic Snoopy change-holder (bad because I was over 18 at the time and it came from someone who had possibly the world’s largest collection of Snoopy paraphernalia)
9) Pink plastic bow earrings that fell apart the second time I wore them. (OK, that was 20 years ago in High School, but apparently I’m still bitter)
8 ) A slate-blue snow cap (which my Yiddish Aunt and Uncle called a kupke) that literally unraveled the FIRST time I wore it. (“Made in China” years ago…)
7) A pair of home-knitted mittens that were more suited to fit the cat; still, I was somehow expected to show up in them now and again with a smile on my face
6) During an office “Secret Santa” deal, a Snowy Christmas Globe with Santa Claus in the middle (didn’t that fun-gay-guy in the office get the memo that I’m Jewish? Geez, I was loud enough about it)
5) A cocktail shaker, from my husband’s siblings, back when I was the only one in the family who didn’t drink (I guess they figured who’d get the most use out of that 
)
4) A bottle of the signature perfume of a woman I used to work with; yes, I complimented her on it once, but that doesn’t mean I wanted to smell exactly like her
3) A teeny-tiny party purse made of beautiful mother-of-pearl, that I will never in my life be able to use because it fits exactly NO diabetes supplies
2) A box of luscious Godiva Chocolates from my co-workers, shortly after I’d announced to the team that I was just diagnosed with gestational diabetes (d’oh!)
1) In more recent years, a “gourmet pancakes” gift basket contraining real maple syrup and several bags of different variety whole-wheat pancake mix (I’ll let y’all guess why that one sucked)
Too bah-humbug for you? Sorry, sarcasm is my specialty — especially during the season of Frosty-the-Snowman Muzak. So what were some of your (NOT) “best holiday gifts ever”?
[Editor's Note: this is not to discourage anyone from merrily participating in the 1st Annual Diabetes Community Secret Santa event - heck, I'm taking my chances. Get your jolly on HERE]
Without question, a 3 pound Candy Cain, that was made from surgar AND had bits of nerds candy in it… had a taste and I could feel my teeth rot and sugars fly.
Real maple syrup is worth bolusing for. But whole-wheat pancake mix for someone with celiac? That’s just cruel.
I have so far been pretty lucky in the gifts I’ve received. There’ve been a couple of years my mom has gone crazy with random catalog purchases, but I’ve gotten use out of even the random stuff with a little creativity.
I will apologize on behalf of the knitter who gave you something that clearly didn’t fit. I have produced such things, but didn’t go so far as to actually give them away. Stuff can always be re-knitted, even if it means the gift is months late. Better that than never used!
Not my gift, but my in-laws gave my boys (aged 9 and 12) pink sheets one Christmas. No female cousins to be confused with, we weren’t sure what message Grandma was trying to send.
A box of old magazines. ‘Nuff said.
My uncle had a knack for picking gifts that seemed like the worst at the time, but ended up being fantastic later on. He was a broke hippie dude, so it was often used stuff, too…but no less appreciated in retrospect. The hand-me-down “Lord of the Rings” trilogy he gave me when I was 10 sat on the shelf for several years before becoming my Favorite Books Ever (er, at least until Harry Potter). And the foot-powered bicycle pump? While quite the yawner to teen me, college me used it to inflate flat car tires for self and friends. Even the crocheted mermaid thrift-shop find had a certain bohemian charm to it.
One Christmas my grandma gave all the girls & women in the family matching seafoam green sweatshirts with hummingbird decals. Whoa. We still laugh about the hummingbird sweatshirts. In her defense, she was confined to a wheelchair (M.S.) and couldn’t get out to shop, so she must have found these in a catalog.
Also, once from my other grandmother, a used bandana with an iron-on label with my cousin’s name! Had she done my cousin’s laundry after camp or something and decided to re-gift?!! Hahahaha
If I never get another bar, box or bag of sugar-free candy, it’ll be too soon because it never gets eaten. It’s not like I hide the fact that I eat ‘regular’ food. I’d much rather have the real thing. Although if someone really wants to be conscientious of my ‘betes, they could just forgo the candy altogether. I’d be pleased as punch to get some fruity lotion or a candle or even just a nice card.
Two vanilla beans in a zip-lock bag. My siblings and I all got these from my dad’s wife. If I knew Martha Stewart maybe I could re-gift them to her.
I got you all beat. Today at the company White Elephant I was the lucky(?) recipient of a used, non functioning cell phone. Awesome.
My worst gift was a steel sink back when I was 5. I wanted an easy bake oven and got a sink instead. I didn’t even know they sold sinks as toys back then… or ever. But it didn’t ruin my Christmas. I always love the snow, the carols, the star at the top of the tree and going to midnight mass.
Frankly, Santa Claus, Frosty, etc. have nothing to do with the religion of Christianity or the meaning of Christmas so getting a snow globe with Santa and then feeling bad about it is something I can’t understand.
pink gloves. I’d specifically asked for NOT pink gloves, but my parent thought I’d written HOT pink gloves, they went to 3-4 stores trying to find them. I wanted to bawl when i opened it(I was a tomboy).
Now I appreciate the thought + time that they put into it, but it was not want I wanted…
When we were all in junior high a great aunt once gave me and my brother and sister color-coordinated personalized three-ring zipper notebooks and pencils …with our name spelled wrong.
I don’t know Murphy, would you be excited about a snow globe with Judah Macabee (the hero of Hanukkah) in the middle?
I guess I would have to say this as a nearly-28-year diabetic…I love carb counting! So much better than the old “Fruit-Bread-Milk-Fat-Veggies-Meat” stuff that I learned in 1981. So, you don’t get the real maple syrup…you get gourmet pancakes with low-sugar syrup…low sugar syrup is (although a bit watery), pretty darn tasty! Bolus for it!
And Godiva chocolates? Can always be shared with your family, keeping a few favorites aside for low sugar moments…I’m sure you weren’t necessarily thinking about that at the moment (while you were pregnant), but that’s my point.
In the past I have received gifts that were not “diabetic friendly”…case in point being a large Hershey Kiss, that I got from a thoughtful (although not informed) paper route customer around 1982, a little less than a year after I had been diagnosed. I wished for low BGs just so I could take a couple of honkin’ bites off that bad boy!
It may be a temptation while it’s around, but I learned early on, that if you want to partake of “gifts of sugar”, you might think twice if your BG is 180+…but if it’s 80 or below, a great time to enjoy a small part of that gift!
My two cents…
Wish you happy new year 2009
My step mother once bought me White Diamonds. When I was in high school.
My favorite Christmas gift blunders are actually a friend’s. Her grandparents decided to buy all presents from yard sales. One uncle got a guide to colon cleaning, her father got a flowery vase (which he now uses to hold his screwdrivers), and my friend got a Thyroid management book – and she has no thyroid issues. Fantastic!