Comments on: From the Mailbag: Diabetes and the Single Life http://www.diabetesmine.com/2008/01/from-the-mailba.html A gold mine of straight talk and encouragement for people living with diabetes Thu, 11 Mar 2010 20:27:46 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: annonymous http://www.diabetesmine.com/2008/01/from-the-mailba.html/comment-page-1#comment-39819 annonymous Tue, 29 Jan 2008 04:41:22 +0000 http://diabetesmine.dreamhosters.com/2008/01/15/from-the-mailbag-diabetes-and-the-single-life/#comment-39819 As a now single adult woman, who has been in a longterm relationship and wears a pump, I can tell you that I usually keep it on. I've made the mistake of leaving it at the boyfriends house, driven part way home, wondered why I wasn't getting any reminder beeps, and had to drive back late at night. With long tubing, it usually stays out of the way. Plus, when I orgasm I tend to go high after, so I try to remember to bolus after that, just a little, even with the exercise. But that's just me. As a now single adult woman, who has been in a longterm relationship and wears a pump, I can tell you that I usually keep it on. I’ve made the mistake of leaving it at the boyfriends house, driven part way home, wondered why I wasn’t getting any reminder beeps, and had to drive back late at night. With long tubing, it usually stays out of the way. Plus, when I orgasm I tend to go high after, so I try to remember to bolus after that, just a little, even with the exercise. But that’s just me.

]]> By: Miriam http://www.diabetesmine.com/2008/01/from-the-mailba.html/comment-page-1#comment-39818 Miriam Tue, 22 Jan 2008 01:16:15 +0000 http://diabetesmine.dreamhosters.com/2008/01/15/from-the-mailbag-diabetes-and-the-single-life/#comment-39818 I feel I should chime back in here, since I started this thread... First of all to Ben: So you disagree with Jadesr, fine. But a personal insult--particularly one invoking the F-word--is totally uncool. To Jadesr: If it's working for you, great. But I would echo the concern about the partner being upset once they finally DO find out, and also the potential risk if you have a severe hypo and they have no clue. I take a completely opposite perspective to dating. Although I'm angsting about the pump now, I've never been shy about discussing my diabetes or even injecting in front of first-time dates. And I actually LIKE the "diabetes education" discussion! Why? Because people are always interested, and because explaining diabetes is something I'm really GOOD at! I definitely don't lump my diabetes into the same category as massive debt or a bad credit rating. Those are true negatives. Diabetes is a relative one...Just as in politics, it depends on how you "spin" it! Plus, diabetes doesn't have to dominate the entire discussion. You can certainly talk about other things too. It doesn't have to be all-or-nothing. Speaking of shifting topics, I also wanted to thank everyone who noted that pulling out an infusion site is no big deal. At the time I sent Amy the letter, I thought that if you did that, you had to do a whole new set change--i.e., fill a new resevoir, rewind, prime, etc. Someone just told me all you have to do is insert a new catheter and switch out the tubing...I mean, DUH! Life is easier now! :) I also just recently learned about the "auto off" feature that allows you to program a duration--say, 10 hours--after which the pump will shut off if no buttons are pushed, and issue an alarm followed by a siren that hopefully is loud enough for the neighbors to hear. Having that safety feature helps put my mind at ease as well. Thanks again everyone...And let's all continue to be nice to one another! I feel I should chime back in here, since I started this thread…

First of all to Ben: So you disagree with Jadesr, fine. But a personal insult–particularly one invoking the F-word–is totally uncool.

To Jadesr: If it’s working for you, great. But I would echo the concern about the partner being upset once they finally DO find out, and also the potential risk if you have a severe hypo and they have no clue.

I take a completely opposite perspective to dating. Although I’m angsting about the pump now, I’ve never been shy about discussing my diabetes or even injecting in front of first-time dates. And I actually LIKE the “diabetes education” discussion! Why? Because people are always interested, and because explaining diabetes is something I’m really GOOD at!

I definitely don’t lump my diabetes into the same category as massive debt or a bad credit rating. Those are true negatives. Diabetes is a relative one…Just as in politics, it depends on how you “spin” it!

Plus, diabetes doesn’t have to dominate the entire discussion. You can certainly talk about other things too. It doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing.

Speaking of shifting topics, I also wanted to thank everyone who noted that pulling out an infusion site is no big deal. At the time I sent Amy the letter, I thought that if you did that, you had to do a whole new set change–i.e., fill a new resevoir, rewind, prime, etc. Someone just told me all you have to do is insert a new catheter and switch out the tubing…I mean, DUH! Life is easier now! :)

I also just recently learned about the “auto off” feature that allows you to program a duration–say, 10 hours–after which the pump will shut off if no buttons are pushed, and issue an alarm followed by a siren that hopefully is loud enough for the neighbors to hear. Having that safety feature helps put my mind at ease as well.

Thanks again everyone…And let’s all continue to be nice to one another!

]]> By: Jadesr http://www.diabetesmine.com/2008/01/from-the-mailba.html/comment-page-1#comment-39817 Jadesr Sun, 20 Jan 2008 09:01:21 +0000 http://diabetesmine.dreamhosters.com/2008/01/15/from-the-mailbag-diabetes-and-the-single-life/#comment-39817 ... and I was not going to go to personal attacks as you did, but then I re-read your post to Miriam, and changed my mind. Maybe if you spent less time posting vitrolic insults to strangers on line, and more time building your career, you would be able to afford a pump. Just sayin' … and I was not going to go to personal attacks as you did, but then I re-read your post to Miriam, and changed my mind.
Maybe if you spent less time posting vitrolic insults to strangers on line, and more time building your career, you would be able to afford a pump.
Just sayin’

]]> By: Jades http://www.diabetesmine.com/2008/01/from-the-mailba.html/comment-page-1#comment-39816 Jades Fri, 18 Jan 2008 22:05:04 +0000 http://diabetesmine.dreamhosters.com/2008/01/15/from-the-mailbag-diabetes-and-the-single-life/#comment-39816 Thanks, Ben. It is exactly your kind of compassionate understanding that makes me seek out groups and forums like this. It warms my heart the same way my Dr. yelling at me to bring my sugars down and then not even looking at the meticulous food/insulin/workout diaries I keep leads me to love the medical establishment. Miriam seemed to be concerned that guys she just meets might be oooked out by her pump; some of the other posters advocated full exposure right away. I am taking the opposite view. First dates are no time to hash over your bummers or weaknesses. I wouldn't tell a new date I am diabetic the same reason one would not lead by telling a potential love interest that you have massive debt, a bad credit rating, or a bastard child you ran out on. You wait until it is a need-to-know thing. And with a pump that might come up sooner. I did once try telling a guy I had just met about it, and it was a DISASTER! Dinner turned into a long diabetes education class, precluding discussion of the many, many other aspects of my personality. Meaning I got defined as 'the sick girl' when in reality my illness is just a tiny part of my life. If wanting my dates to think of me as a hot, successful, intelligent person instead of 'that chic with diabetes' makes me an f-ing idiot, than fine: I am an f-ing idiot. Thanks, Ben. It is exactly your kind of compassionate understanding that makes me seek out groups and forums like this. It warms my heart the same way my Dr. yelling at me to bring my sugars down and then not even looking at the meticulous food/insulin/workout diaries I keep leads me to love the medical establishment.
Miriam seemed to be concerned that guys she just meets might be oooked out by her pump; some of the other posters advocated full exposure right away. I am taking the opposite view. First dates are no time to hash over your bummers or weaknesses. I wouldn’t tell a new date I am diabetic the same reason one would not lead by telling a potential love interest that you have massive debt, a bad credit rating, or a bastard child you ran out on. You wait until it is a need-to-know thing. And with a pump that might come up sooner.
I did once try telling a guy I had just met about it, and it was a DISASTER! Dinner turned into a long diabetes education class, precluding discussion of the many, many other aspects of my personality. Meaning I got defined as ‘the sick girl’ when in reality my illness is just a tiny part of my life.
If wanting my dates to think of me as a hot, successful, intelligent person instead of ‘that chic with diabetes’ makes me an f-ing idiot, than fine: I am an f-ing idiot.

]]> By: Jason http://www.diabetesmine.com/2008/01/from-the-mailba.html/comment-page-1#comment-39815 Jason Fri, 18 Jan 2008 18:55:23 +0000 http://diabetesmine.dreamhosters.com/2008/01/15/from-the-mailbag-diabetes-and-the-single-life/#comment-39815 I wouldn't insult you for your decision -- it's your business, certainly. And I suspect you're mostly kidding when you suggest keeping it a secret within a long-term relationship. If the tables were turned and you found that out about your partner years after dating / marriage, you'd rightfully be pissed. Not to mention the fact that if you needed medical assistance, your partner wouldn't have a clue. I wouldn’t insult you for your decision — it’s your business, certainly. And I suspect you’re mostly kidding when you suggest keeping it a secret within a long-term relationship.

If the tables were turned and you found that out about your partner years after dating / marriage, you’d rightfully be pissed. Not to mention the fact that if you needed medical assistance, your partner wouldn’t have a clue.

]]> By: Ben http://www.diabetesmine.com/2008/01/from-the-mailba.html/comment-page-1#comment-39814 Ben Fri, 18 Jan 2008 12:26:22 +0000 http://diabetesmine.dreamhosters.com/2008/01/15/from-the-mailbag-diabetes-and-the-single-life/#comment-39814 Hey Jadesr: You're fucking stupid. By the way: My email address is brossa@gmail.com, just so no one thinks I'm hiding anything (unlike you!) Hey Jadesr:

You’re fucking stupid.

By the way: My email address is brossa@gmail.com, just so no one thinks I’m hiding anything (unlike you!)

]]> By: Jadesr http://www.diabetesmine.com/2008/01/from-the-mailba.html/comment-page-1#comment-39813 Jadesr Thu, 17 Jan 2008 23:34:03 +0000 http://diabetesmine.dreamhosters.com/2008/01/15/from-the-mailbag-diabetes-and-the-single-life/#comment-39813 Well, like I said, I don't. I take great pains to make sure no one knows I am diabetic. I imagine friends, coworkers and dates just think I spend a weirdly long time in the bathroom. But, if I were to find myself in a serious romantic relationship, like the ones being discussed here, at some point I might mention it. Altho, it might be a fun challange to see how many years of dating or marrige I could get through and still manage to keep it a secret. Well, like I said, I don’t. I take great pains to make sure no one knows I am diabetic. I imagine friends, coworkers and dates just think I spend a weirdly long time in the bathroom.
But, if I were to find myself in a serious romantic relationship, like the ones being discussed here, at some point I might mention it.
Altho, it might be a fun challange to see how many years of dating or marrige I could get through and still manage to keep it a secret.

]]> By: Jason http://www.diabetesmine.com/2008/01/from-the-mailba.html/comment-page-1#comment-39812 Jason Thu, 17 Jan 2008 19:08:40 +0000 http://diabetesmine.dreamhosters.com/2008/01/15/from-the-mailbag-diabetes-and-the-single-life/#comment-39812 Jadesr, What explaining to do think you have to do? To whom and why? Do you really think you owe anybody an explanation for how your pancreas functions? Jadesr,

What explaining to do think you have to do? To whom and why? Do you really think you owe anybody an explanation for how your pancreas functions?

]]> By: AmyT http://www.diabetesmine.com/2008/01/from-the-mailba.html/comment-page-1#comment-39811 AmyT Thu, 17 Jan 2008 17:28:50 +0000 http://diabetesmine.dreamhosters.com/2008/01/15/from-the-mailbag-diabetes-and-the-single-life/#comment-39811 You guys are awesome. Where else can we "get together" and discuss this kind of stuff? Thanks! You guys are awesome. Where else can we “get together” and discuss this kind of stuff?

Thanks!

]]> By: Lauren http://www.diabetesmine.com/2008/01/from-the-mailba.html/comment-page-1#comment-39810 Lauren Thu, 17 Jan 2008 09:03:16 +0000 http://diabetesmine.dreamhosters.com/2008/01/15/from-the-mailbag-diabetes-and-the-single-life/#comment-39810 I understand the "fear of discovery." While I'll glare at a stranger who grimaces when I pull out my needles, I tread lightly when it comes to some people I'm close to. I have my ten year high school reunion this spring. If I'm pumping/podding by then, I will probably switch to injections for a few days. I don't like the idea of an old crush giving me a friendly hug and feeling a strange lump on my side. I wasn't diabetic in high school or college, so I'll have some explaining to do. The question of disclosure is a tough one. I understand the “fear of discovery.” While I’ll glare at a stranger who grimaces when I pull out my needles, I tread lightly when it comes to some people I’m close to. I have my ten year high school reunion this spring. If I’m pumping/podding by then, I will probably switch to injections for a few days. I don’t like the idea of an old crush giving me a friendly hug and feeling a strange lump on my side. I wasn’t diabetic in high school or college, so I’ll have some explaining to do. The question of disclosure is a tough one.

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