Oh dear, I am so underqualified to write this post — seeing as how I haven’t actually dated in what, 20 years or so? (Gads, that makes me feel old). But I’m going to write it anyway, because it’s an important topic and I’m curious what you all think.
I realize how hard it must be. A first date… a dinner. An offer of dessert? A necessary shot, or a protruding pump, an unexpected low… Even if we don’t talk about it, we feel different. Because it’s invisible, yet all-consuming. Lots of people have shared their angst with me…
Even star triathlete Jay Hewitt told me that he kept his diabetes hidden for eight years, because he was worried the girls who might date him would run screaming from some projected lifetime of health problems. (“I was driven to prove that I was physically fit – that diabetes was not some albatross.”)
The other day I got an email from a guy named Joseph asking about a decent online dating network for diabetics ages 21-40. “They have fantastic groups on MySpace for diabetics… but the oldest kids in there are like 18 ” he writes. He read my earlier post about a service called Prescription4Love, but found it not specific enough to diabetes. I’d guess many PWDs would feel the same about a new one along the same lines called Disability Love (not to mention the wheelchair in the logo, which many of us can’t relate to.)
“I date a lot and like any other normal 31 year old have had my share of both long and short relationships… despite very deep love I shared with some of them, NO ONE (and not even family members) can understand what a diabetic deals with except another diabetic. I have found that the few diabetics I have met that are in similar situations as I am (single, young, professional, etc) choose to hide the fact that they are diabetic when it comes to dating and socializing. However, the couple that have opened up to me about it shared an immediate bond. The quickness that diabetics ‘click’ is unreal. I can only compare it to the meeting of two cancer survivors.”
What he’s calling for is something like a JDate for diabetics — even asking if I might set up an area here at DiabetesMine.com for singles to greet and
mingle. I’m actually surprised dLife hasn’t done it yet… I suggested it to them more than once.
Thoughts on dating — Web-based or otherwise — with diabetes anyone?