Today marks four full years of diabetes for this particular LADA girl. In some ways, I can hardly believe it’s been that long since that fated day in May 2003. Yet on the other hand, I can hardly remember what life was like before… What did I eat? How did I exercise? Was there really a time when I didn’t have to think so darn hard about every move I make?
And now I know it’s become ingrained in me, because I’ve started dreaming in diabetes.
Seriously, the other night I had a dream that I was balancing my glucose meter atop a novel I was trying to read, standing at some kind of shoe store check-out counter (don’t ask). I kept dropping the lancing device under the pages or something, so I was fumbling to pull it back up to a position where I could prick my finger.
The funny thing is, the meter in the dream wasn’t even my usual one, but the new, skinny little thing that comes with AgaMatrix’s Keynote, which if you recall I received as a sample and have been using on bike rides of late. I guess it really is the “disruptive” stuff that sticks in your subconscious…
And anything that seeps into your dream state seems to be a sure sign that it’s indelibly stamped on your waking consciousness, no? I mean, that’s how I knew when I officially became fluent in German years ago, after all: people in my dreams started saying things like: Warte doch mal, ich bin dran! and Ein bisschen lauter, bitte. (Trivial stuff, but in German, in my sleep.)
Four Years… Long enough to earn a college degree, or reach a second leap year, or make a mess of a war overseas, or even end a president’s term in office (from my blog to God’s ears). Long enough to become an integral part of who I am. Long enough for it to have altered my dreams forever.