The Diabetic Partner Follies, Act 14: Caring without Mothering Him

Today, another installment of the Diabetic Partner Follies — where partners of PWDs have their chance to speak out — brings us yet another new perspective on life beside the people who’ve got the ‘betes.  Janet writes that she’s delighted to have discovered the Follies, and after 20 years with her Type 1 husband, will have a lot to add.  She starts off with much emotion, and an exploration of the inherent female conflict of wanting to be nurturing, without smothering the one you love:

Reading through the entries in (the Follies), I
can relate to everything!  There are days when I want to wrap T. up and protect
him from the horrible effects of the disease — and there have been nights when
I’m so angry-hurt-tired-frustrated-scared that I just wish I could curl up and
go to sleep and ignore it all! But of course I can’t!So, what do I want
to say tonight?  First, thank you.  I am bookmarking this site and will return –
especially when frustration and fear peak.  Secondly, I would like to tell all
of the other partners, that they are not alone; there are lots of us out here
and we experience the same stuff … so at least now here is a place to share. We
should really use this wonderful resource — it’s a gift. 

Also, I mean no
disrespect to the male partners of diabetics, but my experience has shown me
that female partners really do react differently than men.  We feel conflicted
because we want to take care of him but we don’t want to be his mom!  For some
reason, the men I know simply don’t have this same problem.  So, to all of you
women out there, don’t despair, share your stories. I for one am going to try to
log on often (now that I’ve found you) and see what I can do to contribute my
help and support to others.



And furthermore, Janet shares the personal “Folly” experience that sticks in her mind the most:

My husband and I were together only a few months at the time and I had never seen him have a low before.  My (male) cousin — who is really like one of my best friends — was over for dinner.  We were sitting at the table, having coffee, when suddenly my husband gets up and goes upstairs, without a word!Well, cousin and I looked at each other, shrugged and kept talking.  Next thing we know, my husband comes walking down the stairs, totally naked and talking total nonsense!  Cousin and I were awestruck — and it wasn’t the amazing physique either!

Not knowing what to do or what was going on, cousin left very quickly and I tried to figure out how and when my new mate had taken a dive off the deep end of the swimming pool.  Once  I determined it was the sugar and convinced him to drink something sweet, some semblance of normalcy returned.

It took all of us quite awhile to overcome this one, but it’s been well over 20 years and now we laugh about it.  One really doesn’t know what is going to happen when living with a diabetic!

Glad to “meet” you.



— Janet in Washington, DC


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