The Diabetic Partner Follies, Act 13: What Kind of Crisis Will It Take?!

Hello All, and Welcome Back to the Diabetic Partner Follies, our sharing forum for partners of PWDs.  Sometimes both partners have diabetes, and things get particularly hairy — especially when one partner is guilty of D-neglect.  You think that’s only bad news for the affected individual?  Think again:

Can I fire my diabetic husband for losing his spiffy new blood glucose meter?

This is the man who said to me, “I’d test more often if I had the meter that you have, that keeps track of all those numbers.”

Fine. I bought him the meter.  More testing is good for a person with type 2 diabetes, right?  At least I didn’t give it to him as a birthday or valentine’s day gift. 

Personally, I have two meters.  One lives at home in my bathroom.  The second lives in my office desk drawer.  (I should probably get a third to live in my car.)

And it’s not as if I ask him every day how his numbers are.  I ask once in a while. His HbA1c was most recently 8.8, and his doctor commented that this reading was down from earlier ones.

When I asked how his numbers were about a month ago, he sheepishly admitted that he couldn’t find his meter.  I asked a week or so ago, and he still had not located it.

What kind of health crisis will it take to get his attention?  I want to grab him by both ears and shake him.  I am so angry at him.  I am so afraid of what is happening within his body right now. I have enough to do with managing my own life, and my own diabetes.  I cannot manage his.

But how cruel of him to inflict this worry and anger on me by his inaction and carelessness.  Can I forgive?  Can I continue?  Can I?

— Anonymous on the West Coast, USA

(Living with a partner who’s living with diabetes?  Got something to share?  Share it with the Follies by emailing me here.)


3 Responses

  1. Linda
    Linda February 15, 2007 at 11:33 am | | Reply

    I know all to well what you are going thru. My partner is a 2 i am a 1. He also does not do the things he should be doing. Not testing, forgets to take his meds, etc. As I am writing this he is sitting on the couch eating a big piece of pumpkin cake!!!
    After nagging , harrassing and yelling at him at what can happen and what I am going thru everyday with my complications from not being good about doing what I should, I have come to the conclusion that: 1) The more I nag, the worse he is about doing what he should, and, 2) Although it breaks my heart to say this, I am now stepping back from taking care of him like a child, and giving him the responsibility of taking care of himself. I do watch what he is doing and I am biting my tounge to not blow up at him. It’s hard, so very hard everyday.I just hope everyday that he will realize what he is doing to himself before something drastic happens., I’m sure everyone with diabetes knows what I am referring to. My wakeup call came in the form of waking up blind in one eye. I do not want this to happen to him.
    He is a grown man You cannot force him to do anything he doesn’t want to do. It took me a good long time to realize this. Thats the course I have chosen to take for me. this is not what I want but I cannot handle the resistance and downright ignoring he gives me about his care. I told him if he doesn’t care thats his business, I will not mention another word about it, ever again. Over time I have snuck peeks at him to see what he is doing and he ( on his own) taking his meds and every once in awhile taking this meter readings. Slowly, he seems to be getting it.
    Thats how I deal with him. I won’t say give it a try, but it is something to think about???

  2. john
    john February 16, 2007 at 1:51 pm | | Reply

    I agree to what Linda said

  3. Dennis
    Dennis February 20, 2007 at 8:25 pm | | Reply

    FYI Ladies… After meeting with over 100 (and counting) T2 Men thru the VA?

    #1- They aren;t going ot do much of anything a woman tells them to do, that they don’t want too..
    #2- They are men, not Women..meaning? They will eat what they want , when they want and Drink what they want, when they want
    #3- Over 55% of Older Married Men are Bored with their Lives and Wives.. and the other 50% are Divorced ( at least once )
    #4- over 65% who do have a Serious complication from not Being a Good Boy, end up falling off the wagon with in 6 mos after…
    #5-and you wonder why you women Live longer than Men?

    Human Nature

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