My husband lives a really active life — he’s in great shape, avoids sweets, and treats, has a physically active job as an auto mechancic, and really in so many ways is healthier than most guys his age because he is so conscious of making healthy lifestyle choices.

We have two active boys who are 7 and 5. Our 7 year old dreams of becoming a doctor and finding a cure to diabetes, along with a way to “bring dead things back to life” and building a time machine. He knows all to well the effects of diabetes– how to pick up on the lows and has been on the other end of nasty low rants of rage. For his 7th birthday party he asked his friends to make donations to diabetes research instead of bringing him gifts. He’s such a wise old soul!

My husband started using a Medtronic pump with Real Time Blood Glucose Monitoring 1 year ago and it has increased the quality of our lives significantly; however, we still encounter more highs and lows than I’d like to admit. The Continuous Blood Glucose monitor gives a fair number of false readings and is far from perfect.

One night my husband forgot to check his blood before leaving work and must have been going low before he left. He couldn’t find the exit to get home and got lost. He knew that he should pull over and call for help but his body just wouldn’t listen to his brain. Ecentually he found his way home but it was just by the grace of god that he made it home without hurting himself or someone else. He was so upset and does make a conscious effort to check his bloid before getting behind the wheel when he’s not already going low. It’s all those times when he’s already on his way low that worry me!

He gets very oppositional when low and high and I’m finding it is taking more and more of a toll on me. I find it hard to trust him — not because he is deceitful — but because he cannot make good choices when he is in a low or high state. He gets irrational and argumentative and I find him a challenge to deal with — I worry about what will happen to all of my boys when I am not home. When he is high and argumentative, I finally have learned not to engage him and to go to bed which is best for my own peace of mind but that makes him all the more upset which elevates his blood sugar all the more. So, it feels like we loose no matter which action I take.

Most days I feel like I have three children to worry about and I’m starting to feel like more of a caregiver to my husband than a spouse. Our children have been coached and know to call for help if I’m not around but I worry that my husband will prevent them from taking the action they need to in order to help him. They recognize the signs and alert me to when Daddy is not acting normal if I am busy or pre-occupied with something else.

I already see our quality of life slipping away from us and worry about our ‘golden years’…. I am so relieved to have found a common voice and a place to read about others’ experiences living with a diabetic spouse. It’s nice to find kindred spirits!

The only thing I could add is that being in a significant relationship with someone who deals with Type 1 diabetes, even with extreme care, is under the best of circumstances a challenging path.

It’s not just about being ready for diabetic first aid.

When the “demon” of discomfort comes out in a hypo or hyper-glycmemic event, it can be really difficult to discern what is coming from the prickliness of unbalanced chemistry vs. what is a real issue of our loved one’s subconscious wanting to lash out at us.

All I can say is that if your husband truly does have his diabetes in check “most of the time,” then it most likely isn’t the disease that’s wrecking the relationship. There are likely other forces at work. The diabetes can just make tough situations harder, for sure!